Attack of the OWCA
by Wakkowarnerlover
Summary: Monogram's old childhood friend is still out to attack the agency, and the agents have their hands full trying to find him. Perry rekindles his relationship with a troublesome ex-girlfriend while he helps her find her daughter, who is being held hostage in exchange for the O.W.C.A Main File. THIS STORY IS PART OF A SERIES.
1. Chapter 1

Snow and ice had completely coated Danville Mountain.

Trevor the Doberman pinscher stared at the white blanket of snow through his binoculars, trying to find some kind of sign of life. He was wearing five layers of heavy jackets, and yet he was still shivering.

"Nothing yet?" Harry the husky asked him.

"Nothing."

"Perhaps the information we got from Cecily was wrong."

"Cecily's never wrong." Trevor said. He lowered his binoculars as Perry the platypus approached them, completely unrecognizable in his heavy coat and goggles.

"No one's down there?" He wheezed.

"No one so far." Trevor responded. "I'm sorry. Cecily heard they were meeting here. She was almost certain."

"We'll wait a little longer, and then we'll leave before I catch hypothermia." Perry said.

"It is kind of cold up here, isn't it?" Harry commented.

Perry didn't respond. He began nervously chewing on one of his gloves.

Trevor looked through the binoculars again. Suddenly he saw movement.

"Down there!" He barked. "They're here!"

**...**

Perry grabbed his snowboard from Harry and thrust it onto the snow. He was followed by a few more of his comrades, including Trevor.

"All right, guys." Perry said. "Remember, we're ambushing humans, not animals, so be extra careful. If caught in an avalanche, keep a hand in front of your mouth so you'll have more chance for air. Devon, you may not want to be chewing gum while you're sliding down a mountain at five billion miles per hour. And if you see Thad Badley… be even MORE careful than you would with any other enemy. Pinky, if you're freezing, go on up to the cabin."

"T-t-hanks." Pinky the Chihuahua stammered. Shaking uncontrollably, he made his way toward Harry.

Perry got on his snowboard and pushed off. The cold winds stung him as his snowboard streaked toward the gathering group of people.

The men shouted and pointed at the coming agents. Gunshots began to ring out.

"THEY'RE ARMED!" Perry shouted. "DON'T GET HIT!"

He heard a horrible wail and looked back. Carrie the cat had stopped her board and was hiding behind a tree. The rest of the agents were blasting forward.

Perry ran into one of the men, knocking him off his feet. A second man ran out of the way.

"DON'T SHOOT!" Someone yelled. "HERMAN, YOU IDIOT!"

One of the people had fired a shot at Kyle the kangaroo, missed, and hit a snowbank instead. Snow began toppling down the mountain.

"AVALANCHE!" The men shouted, running in all directions.

"Inevitable." Perry muttered. He leaned forward, trying to pick up speed.

He heard the snow thundering behind him. If he could just make it to a safe spot…

He was hit hard in the back and fell forward, plunging into cold darkness.

_Great_, he thought.

It was like being completely glued into a space just big enough for him. More annoyed than scared, he tried to figure out what to do while he waited to be found. Sleeping was certainly out of the question.

He felt the snow shift a little bit after a few minutes. Then he heard barking.

"Hang on, we know you're down there." Harry said. "Trevor's digging Kyle out further up the mountain. Hang on."

Perry finally felt some of the snow break away. Once Harry had dug a big enough hole, he pulled Perry out.

"You okay?" He asked. "Anything broken?"

Perry looked around. The mountain was deserted.

"The others?"

"Trevor found Kyle, and everyone else is fine. Even Carrie. Does anything hurt?"

"I'm just a little stiff." Perry stretched.

"Nothing's broken, then?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Good. Come on." Harry led him over to the O.W.C.A jet. "We caught a prisoner. He told us some more information about Thad. Turns out Thad's planning to take over the agency because he's mad at Monogram. We have no idea why he wants control over all of Danville, though."

"Mad at Monogram?"

"One time, when they were younger…" Harry lowered his voice. "Monogram cheated at hopscotch."

Perry frowned. "That's ALL?"

"That's all." Harry said.

"Must have been one huge game of hopscotch."

"Strange but true." Harry said.

**...**

"Perry, you have a plump tummy."

Perry looked up from his book. "Sorry, Phineas?"

"Your tummy is plump when you sit. It's cute."

"His tummyplump plumpifies when he sits." Ferb said.

"Tummityplump." Phineas said.

"You guys are disturbing." Perry said, shifting his position so as to straighten out his belly.

"I remember when I was little, and Perry was little and chubby, I drummed on his tummyplump." Phineas said.

Perry rolled his eyes. "If you'll excuse me…" He looked back down at his book.

"How has the hunt for Thad been going?" Phineas asked.

"Not great. We haven't cornered him. And I haven't located that master file yet. Monogram gave it to a former agent to keep safe. That narrows it down to about fifty possible animals. And they could be anywhere. I know he wouldn't have given it to a rogue, though."

"Reminds me." Phineas said. "We saw a picture of Monogram painted downtown. Someone graffittied it."

"Thad." Perry muttered. "He's been mocking me with that stupid graffiti."

"That would explain why there was a mural of your name on the back of the restaurant." Ferb said.

Perry groaned.

Candace entered the room. Perry immediately set down his book and lay down on the bed.

"Smile, boys!" Candace said, taking a picture of the two with her phone before they had posed.

"Why?" Phineas asked.

"I got this new app, InstantPictureroo! And it's so cool. Look, I can add effects to your picture and post it to the internet!"

Phineas glanced at the screen. "Why would you wanna change the colors of the picture?"

"Because it's cool. You wouldn't understand. It's a teenage thing." Candace left the room.

"Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!" Phineas said. "Let's make our own app!"

Perry yawned and sat up again.

"We can make one called Tummyplump, in honor of Perry!"

"I'm not fat." Perry mumbled.

"Oh, by the way." Phineas stood up. "Halloween is coming."

"I know. It's a few weeks away."

"Can we go to Disney for Halloween with you?" Phineas begged.

"If I'm not doing anything, sure."

"Yay!" Phineas said.

"But we are NOT going back in that mansion thing." Perry said.

"The lady told us to come back." Ferb said.

"Well, we'll just have to rebel against her." Perry said. "Defy the lady."

"Seriously, Ferb, what should our app be called?" Phineas asked.

"Defy the Lady." Ferb said.

"Cool."

"I get royalties." Perry said. "I thought up the name."

"It's gonna be an app where you have to outsmart this technological lady trying to take an InstantPictureroo of you!" Phineas said.

"And then on the last level, she tries to graffiti you on a wall and you have to stop her." Ferb said.

"Yeah. There's been a lot of graffiti of us, lately." Phineas said. "Maybe Thad's mad at us too?"

"He knows you guys mean everything to me. He's taunting me."

"Or maybe Baljeet painted it." Ferb said.

Phineas stared at him. "Why would BALJEET vandalize a wall?"

Ferb shrugged. "Or it could have been Worthington DuBois, father's antiquing nemesis."

"He doesn't exist, Ferb!" Phineas shouted.

"It was just a joke." Ferb said.  
>"Oh." Phineas said. He smiled a little. "That was funny. Let's think up some more! Maybe Meap could have done it!"<p>

Perry sighed and tried to focus on his book.

"Or Django!"

"We never see him anymore, I wonder where he is. Oh, or Blubbles!"

"Or Vance Ward!"

Perry stared at the wall, thinking hard. "…No."

"Or not Vance Ward." Ferb held his hands up. "It's cool."

"No. I know who did it now. I just don't know why."


	2. Chapter 2

Perry tiptoed through the dark building, looking around cautiously every time he heard a noise. A pipe hissed somewhere. Stairs leading up to three different levels were ahead of him.

He looked up. The stairwell continued on to many different doorways. No one seemed to have been here for a while.

Suddenly he heard someone yelling. He whirled around and landed flat on his back from something crashing into him.

Groaning in pain, he pushed himself up. Prince was next to him, rubbing her head.

"Sorry, weasel. Lost my footing."

Perry helped her up. "Sure you did. What were you thinking, walking around on those planks up there in roller skates? What happened to your boots?"

"Not as fun." Prince said, smiling smugly at him. "I got these a couple of weeks ago. At first I hated them. I had no idea how to use them. Now I go everywhere on them." She took a few steps forward to keep herself from rolling backwards.

"So, what's the big idea?" Perry folded his arms.

"I didn't plan to use you as landing gear. But it was lucky you were standing there at that time."

"No. I mean why are you spray-painting me, random people connected to me, and names of things I am close to all over town?"

"I needed to talk to you." Prince said. "I figured you'd realize I was asking for you."

"You could have just called me."

"Don't have your number." Prince yawned.

"What did you want to ask me?"

"Not here." Prince whispered. She glared up at the top of the stairwell. "I just left a rival gang a little message on their wall. They aren't going to be pleased enough to let us stay and chat. We'd better go."

"I thought you quit that stupid gang."  
>"Yes. Formed a new one. No weapons, no violence this time. I prefer making art."<p>

"You mean vandalizing property."

"Are we really going to have this conversation again? Come on, follow me."

Prince skated out of the warehouse. Perry had to run to keep up.

** ...**

"How did you manage to afford this apartment?"

"Relax. No illegal means." Prince turned on the light switch, revealing a small but comfortable-looking apartment complete with a large bed and flat-screen television. "I've had this place forever. One of my exes bought it for me. He wasn't able to get his money back after we broke up, so it's still mine. Want something to drink? All I have is milk and tap-water. I haven't been to the store."

"Anything's fine." Perry sat down at a long desk that faced the window.

Prince skated over to him with a glass of milk.

"It'd make me feel a lot safer if you'd take those things off." Perry said. "You're gonna trip."

"I won't." Prince held on to the edge of the desk to stay in one spot.

Perry took a sip of milk. "So."

"So what?" Prince snapped.

"What was so important that you had to paint my name all over Danville? What did you want to tell me?"

Prince gave him a sad smile. "Huh. Thought I could put it off."

"Prince."

Prince sighed and straightened up. "A year before I met you, I had a daughter. I never told you about her. She joined some gang before I met you. I haven't seen her since."

"What was her name?"

"Crusher."

"You named your… daughter… Crusher?" Perry stared at her. "There are hundreds of pretty names out there for girls, and you call her-"

"She needed a tough name." Prince narrowed her eyes. "The names 'Baby' or 'Sweetheart' aren't gonna do it when you live the kind of life we do. There are some people who can pull it off, sure, they go around and do horrible things. They could dress up like a pretty unicorn and have the name Rainbow Cupcakes and still scare people off. But I think that's cheap. Might as well make a name for yourself that you won't have to be embarrassed about. I mean, PRINCESS?" Prince spat at the ground. "Who knows what my mother was thinking. Yes, her name is Crusher."

"Sorry." Perry shrugged.

Prince looked at the floor.

"Go on." Perry said.

Prince looked up again. She was smiling mockingly, like normal, but her eyes were now full of sadness.

"I got a letter a few weeks ago." She said. "More of a ransom note. Another gang kidnapped Crusher, and they're threatening to send me her body if I don't give them what they want."

"Oh." Perry frowned. "Wow… Prince, I'm so sorry. Do you know where she is? How much time have they given you?"

"I have all the time in the world." Prince said. "They'll keep her alive. She's the only thing they can hold over my head. And I know where she is. I'm… well, I'm just not good at that thing you're good at."

"Which is…" Perry prompted.

"Sneaking into some place and rescuing a hostage without giving the kidnappers what they wanted."

"What did they want from you?"

"I can't give it to them." Prince reached under the desk and pulled out a drawer. She opened up a small box and handed it to Perry.

It took Perry a second to realize what it was.

"You found it."

"I didn't find it."

"Then he gave it to you. You're completely right, Prince. They can't get this. The gang that kidnapped Crusher… are they, by any chance, called the Flaming Planet?"

"I didn't know you'd studied up on gang names." Prince teased.

"They're trying to get this master file for a man named Thad Badley. Have you ever heard of him?"

Prince shrugged. "How should I know?"

"So… you wanted to ask me if I could help you save your daughter?"

Prince nodded.

"I'll need time." Perry said. "To work out a plan and everything."

"You have time." Prince said.

Perry took another drink of milk.

"You need me to stay a while? If you need to talk…"

"I don't need to talk." Prince said. "I just want to relax about this. I've been on the edge for weeks. Wanna see a movie? My favorite one's on tonight."

"In a theater?"

"No, here. Or do you have to go?"

"No. I guess I can stay. What movie is it?"

"Prison Escape 6. Thanks. It gets lonely here sometimes." Prince skated over to her bedside table and picked up a small phone. "Let me just order some pizza or something so we don't starve."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Perry asked.

"I'm fine." Prince hissed. "I just wanna forget about it." Her tone softened. "What do you take on your pizza?"

"Just cheese. Any chance we get doughnuts, too?"

"Not the chocolate ones." Prince said.

"Glazed are the only kind I like." Perry said.

Prince raised an eyebrow. "Good tastes. All right, so one huge-gigantic cheese pizza, glazed doughnuts, and a huge pack of those cookie-things with the cream in the middle."

"We're gonna be full." Perry said.

** ...**

Perry woke up the next morning expecting to find himself in Phineas and Ferb's room.

Instead, he was in the middle of an apartment, dimly lit by the sun coming in from the window.

He looked to his right. Prince was asleep, her arms wrapped around him. He pushed her off and sat up, suddenly remembering where he was.

He must have fallen asleep in the middle of the movie. The last thing he remembered was the handsome man running from policemen after he escaped the prison for the sixth time.

Prince stirred slightly, and Perry moved further away from her. He checked his phone for the time.

Eight-thirty. Not as late as he thought.

"Morning." Prince murmured, sitting up and yawning. "Time?"

"Eight."

"Mmkay. Early." Prince leaned over and kissed him. Perry backed away from her, nearly falling off the bed.

"You let me do that last night." Prince said sourly.

"In what dimension?" Perry retorted. "What did you put in that milk?"

"Nothing." Prince said defiantly. "If you're so insistent on saying you were tricked, you were probably tired. I didn't know you were going to be less flirty when you were more awake. Sorry if I offended you." She yanked the covers away from him and lay back down. "You got bored of making commentary on the movie and fell asleep. I tried to wake you up, but you were out cold. So I gave up and fell asleep myself. And if you don't want me to kiss you, you shouldn't kiss back."

"Sorry. Must have been tired." Perry mumbled.

"You don't have to apologize to ME." Prince rolled over to face him. "You're the one who's so over me. Sure, I broke your heart once. Sorry about that. But if I gave you my word, would that change anything?"

"Your word's not much." Perry said. "I have to go. My owners might be worried."

"Hey, if you want it, I'll give it to you. My word. Here if you want it." Prince said.

Perry got up and put on his fedora. "Give me your word you'll come and find me next time instead of spraying my name all over public property."

"Funny."

Prince jumped on him and kissed him again. Perry didn't object, hugging her back.

"Seriously, don't paint my name all over the city."

"Fine. I'll just paint your head."

** ...**

"Come to the O.W.C.A Halloween Party!" Darren the duck shouted.

Agents walked by, completely ignoring him. Darren sighed.

"We're still having a party at this time?" Perry asked him.

Darren handed him a flyer. "Sure. Just because Monogram's gone, that doesn't mean we can't have a good time, right?"

"Well…"

"Everyone's so cranky lately, it's annoying." Darren said. "I'm trying to see if this cheers them up."

"Haven't you learned anything from last year's party?" Perry asked him. "Remember that huge paint fight?"

Darren frowned. "I'm just hoping things go smoother now. Yo, Carrie! Halloween party. Wanna come?"

"With you?" Carrie asked as she walked past. "Oh, okay."

Darren blushed and looked at Perry. "I don't think she knows what I meant."

"Well, you can't take it back now." Perry said.

"Peter!" Darren said, waving a flyer. "Do you want to go to the O.W.C.A party?"

"Sure, Darren." Peter said. "As friends and all, though."

Darren slammed his wing against his forehead.

"Now you have two dates for the party." Perry said. "Better be careful, or Carrie might get jealous of Peter."

Darren looked at Kyle, who was hopping towards them.

"Hey, Kyle, you should come to the O.W.C.A Halloween party." Perry said. "It's gonna be awesome."

"Oh, good idea." Kyle said, grabbing a flyer from Darren.

Darren stared at Perry.

"It's all in the wording." Perry explained.

"Who are you going with?" Darren asked.

"Oh, I was gonna go with Peter, but you already snatched him up. I'm brokenhearted, Darren."

"You're not funny."

"Maybe I'll go with Vance Ward. Or did you already ask him?"

"NOT FUNNY!" Darren shouted.

"Hush, you'll scare away your customers."


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you gonna be Frankenstein's monster again for Halloween, Ferb?" Phineas asked.

"Nah."

"Well, what are you gonna be?"

"I'm not sure."

Perry wandered into the kitchen and started eating his breakfast.

"Look, Perry's back!" Phineas said.

"Thory I wath gone tho longth." Perry said. He swallowed his food. "The agency's having a Halloween party, even with the Thad hunt going on and all. Oh, and Darren's taking Peter and Carrie at the same time."

"Looveee triaangglleee." Ferb said.

"Wait, what?" Phineas asked.

Perry didn't explain. "I'm gonna need you guys to help think up some costume ideas for me."

"You could go as Barley, that fashion doll." Ferb said.

"The one who for some reason has every job in the world and naturally pink pets? I'll pass."

Phineas started laughing. "Candace used to go on her site a lot, and there were online games for every job Barley does. And so one time I went on when Candace had logged out of her account, and there was one game for bathroom cleaner!"

"I don't know how to react to that." Perry said honestly.

"You had to click on the grime to clean it off the toilet with the brush and you had to double-click really fast to plunge!" Phineas had gone into hysterics and was rolling around on the floor.

Ferb and Perry looked at each other.

Phineas finally wiped his eyes and sat up. "Ah. That site's really annoying, too. When we were littler, Candace was mad because she didn't have any friends and so mom was like 'Oh, I'll make an account, then you'll have a friend'. And she tried typing in a username… I think it was like candacesmom or something… and it said, 'We're sorry, this username has a bad word in it. But you can be Sparkleponyrainbow2.' And so she picked that instead and then it said to choose a password and it was like 'We're sorry, that password has a bad word in it'. And she was like 'WHO CARES IF MY PASSWORD HAS A BAD WORD IN IT? NO ONE'S GONNA SEE MY PASSWORD!' and then Candace asked if there really was a bad word in it and she was like 'No, it was candace!' so then she had to make her password sparkleponyrainbow2. And it said congratulations and stuff and then it made her have a cupcake fairy princess as her user icon. It was funny." Phineas typed in an address into his laptop and showed them.

A user profile flashed on the screen: SPARKLEPONYRAINBOW2. Next to the username was a picture of a princess cupcake fairy.

"Look, they made you use drop-down lists to say what you wanted to say." Phineas scrolled down and began to read. "Hi, my name is SPARKLEPONYRAINBOW2. My best friend in the whole wide Barley-tastic-sparklelicious world is CANDYFLOWER6. That's Candace." He explained. "And then it says, if I had to choose between cake and ice cream I would choose CAKE. My favorite animal is the WATER BUFFALO."

"Oh, come on." Perry said. "They won't let you have the username you want or let you pick something besides cake and ice cream, and yet they have something like WATER BUFFALO on their drop-down lists?"

"I would have picked the blue-footed booby." Ferb said.

"She actually wanted to pick that, but they forgot to put it on the list." Phineas said. "Hey look, she won some awards on the site. The Glitter Unicorn award… the Fabulous Fashion Designer award… the Toilet-tastic award… oh, that must have been from when I was playing on her account."

"What a weird site." Perry said. "I wonder if your mom still goes on it."

"I'd be concerned if she did." Ferb said.

"Do you guys have an account?"

"No." Ferb said.

"No, I just play on Candace's when I'm really bored." Phineas said.

Isabella poked her head into the room. "Hey, Phineas! Your mom let me in. Whatcha doin'?"

"Looking at Barley's website." Phineas said.

"Oh, add me! I'm dreamprincess37. I wanted to be izzypinky, but it said my username had a bad word in it. And you should probably add Buford, too. He's prettypixie93."

Phineas and Ferb exchanged looks.

"You sometimes find out more than you want to about your friends by learning about what websites they go on." Ferb said.

** ...**

"I have bad news and good news." Monty said.

He looked a lot more tired than he usually did. Perry listened attentively.

The other agents were hopping around, trying to avoid the toy blocks flying at them. Baby Ned clapped his fins and threw some more.

Perry winced as a triangular block hit him in the head.

"The good news is, we found out why Thad Badley is trying to get the master file. He knows that he cannot control the O.W.C.A without something so powerful, since we are so well protected. The bad news is… well… he's taken over an entire section of Danville."

The agents stopped running and stared at Monty, resulting in a few yelps of pain. Baby Ned giggled in pure glee.

"Why does Ned attend these meetings?" Someone muttered.

"He is forcing some people to stay in their homes and not go into the streets because of his latest 'community service' plan. He claims to be trying to get rid of vandalism by appointing his men to question and shoot down anyone who seems to be engaging in reckless behavior. It's all too obvious that this plot is for his own benefit."

Perry narrowed his eyes and left the room. He brought out his phone, punched in a number, and waited.

"Who are you and what do you want? I don't do bounty hunting jobs anymore, if that's what you're asking." Prince snapped.

"Hello to you, too." Perry said.

"What's up, weasel?"

"You'll probably want to stay off the streets."

"Oh, you don't say?" Prince sneered.

"Yeah. Thad's just stuck some of his cronies out there to…"

"I already figured that out. You'd better have some new respect for my skates. They saved me back there."

"This reminds me of a video game I played once… you're this graffiti artist on roller skates and the police keep sending tanks after you…"

"You just made me mess up my alternating colors."

"I'm sorry?"

"You distracted me. I was painting my claws alternating neon pink and neon green. Now I have two on the left paw that are pink next to each other. Hope you're proud."

"How are you painting your claws and talking to me?"

"I have a shoulder for a reason."  
>"Yes, I'm sure the shoulder was invented for the sole purpose of holding up your phone. I'll never understand female multitasking." He waited for a moment. "So… are you doing any better?"<p>

"Wouldn't know what you're talking about."

"Prince, we should probably talk about Crusher if we're going to have a chance of getting her back…"

"Not now. Come by later."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. And be careful around those armed men in the streets."

"You too."

"I can't go out and paint when my claws aren't dry, anyway. Don't worry about me."

Perry heard a click. He hung up and stuck his phone back in his pocket.

** ...**

"We need a better plan."

"No, we don't."  
>"Prince, breaking in through a window and spray-painting all over the place is not a plan."<p>

"It is a plan. It's just not a plan for getting my daughter back. You have any better plans?"

"We could try sneaking in through the closest entrance to Crusher, cause a diversion, and get her out of there."

"Mkay. We'll go with that."

Perry shook his head. "But we need to figure out WHERE Crusher is and WHAT diversion to create and WHICH entrance is closest."

"Minor roadblocks." Prince said. She switched on the television.

"Prince, are you really trying to get your daughter back, or are you just trying to get me to spend time with you?"

"A little of both." Prince admitted, propping her pillow up behind her head.

"Look… there's a Halloween party at the agency on Halloween. You could go with me if you want."

Prince focused her attention on the remote, changing channel after channel. "Would I have to dress up?"

"It's kind of implied. Not that it'd be a problem for you, right? You do love wearing stuff. You could be like a neon witch or something."

"I won't go neon. That's not costume material for me." Prince finally settled on a channel.

"You could go as Barley." Perry teased.

"Ugh. Too girly. You know her site yells at you about having a bad word in your password?"

"There's already a bad word in password." Perry observed.

Prince snickered.

They stared at the television for a while.

"I hope she's not scared." Prince said. "She'll be fine, I guess."

"If she's your daughter, she's probably fine." Perry said.

Prince smiled a little.

Perry kissed her.

"Oh, so it's official now?" Prince asked.

"Probably." Perry said, feeling himself blush. "So long as you don't mind."

"You were the one who was over me." Prince reminded him.

They kissed again, completely ignoring the television, which was blaring an ad about bricks.

** ...**

Perry wandered into the kitchen, feeling dizzily happy. Phineas was still sitting at his laptop.

"Are you okay, Perry?" Phineas asked.

"Yeah. I'm great."

"You look kind of unstable." Phineas pulled a chair out.

Perry sat down, smiling at Ferb across from him.

Ferb raised an eyebrow. "What are you so cheerful about?"  
>"Nothing." Perry said, hardly hearing him.<p>

Ferb stood up in his chair and pointed at Perry. "He found someone."

"What?" Phineas asked blankly, looking from Ferb to Perry.

"He found a female. That's how platypuses get when they're in love. They look dizzy and they don't listen to you."

"Is that true, Perry?" Phineas asked.

"What?" Perry asked, waking up a little from hearing his name. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"Told ya." Ferb said.

"Perry, who is it?"

"Who's what?"

"Ferb says you're in love."  
>"Oh. Um…" Perry shrugged. "I guess so."<p>

"Who is it?"

"Just… someone I knew for a while. Her name's Prince."

"Oh, cool." Phineas said. He looked back at his laptop. "Haha, I just made Barley have a ponytail sticking straight up!"

"Have you two been on that site all day?" Perry asked.

"Yeah. We're doing Barley Makeover and making her look weird."

"On whose account?"

"Candace's." Ferb said. "I think when you finish the makeover, it becomes your user icon."

Perry glanced at the screen. Phineas was giving Barley an extra eye.

"Candace will be thrilled." He said.


	4. Chapter 4

Perry slid down the tube into the agency. The instant he stepped out, he was surrounded by agents staring at him.

"What?" Perry asked.

"Perry!" Pinky said happily, giving Perry a hug. "You found your soulmate!"

"Get off, it's not you." Perry said.

"Sorry." Pinky backed up.

"How did you hear? I only told Phin-"

"Is she pretty?" Pinky asked.

"…Yeah. Very pretty." Perry admitted.

"What's her name?"

"Prince."

"Prince? Have I ever met her?"

"Probably not." Perry pulled out his phone, found a picture, and showed it to Pinky.

"Oh, she's cute!" Pinky said. "Wait… I think she broke into your lair a while ago."

"She probably did. I remember her giving me back something she took from there."

"Is she…" Pinky frowned. "Don't take this the wrong way, but is she…"

"Yeah, she's kind of a law-breaker." Perry said. "She paints graffiti everywhere. But she doesn't steal or kill anymore, that's the good thing."

"Good. Are you happy with her?"

"Super happy." Perry smiled.

He looked over Pinky's shoulder. Everyone was still staring at him.

"Don't you guys have something to do?" Perry demanded.

"Yeah. But we're more interested in your love life." Billy the beaver said.

Perry rolled his eyes.

"How long has it been going on?" Ferdinand the frog asked.

Perry looked at his watch. "Fourteen hours. Can I get into my lair, please?"

"Fourteen whole hours." Devon said dreamily.

"Lair." Perry said. He shoved Devon out of the way and went into his lair, slamming the door behind him.

"People in love are cranky." He heard Billy say from behind the door.

**...**

"What are you doing, dad?" Phineas asked.

Lawrence was sitting on the couch with his phone.

"Oh, playing a new app called Defy the Lady. It's really quite impressive!"

"Cool." Phineas said.

Perry was rolling around on the living room rug, trying to get some loose fur out.

"Mom, Perry's shedding again." Candace said, pointing at Perry.

"Brush him." Linda called from the kitchen.

"Mum bought your all's costumes today." Lawrence said absent-mindedly, still focused on his phone.

"Oh, cool!" Phineas said. He opened up a bag on the floor. "Here's Ferb's… here's mine… and oh, here's Perry's!"

Perry stopped rolling. "You are NOT putting that on me."

"It's an adorable pumpkin costume!" Phineas said. "Look, here are the holes for his feet and then his hat is the pumpkin top!"

"NOT wearing that."

"It'll look so cute." Phineas said pleadingly.

"You know what else would look cute? Your face in a pumpkin costume."

"Cool, Candace has an awesome witch costume!" Phineas pulled Candace's dress out of the bag. "It has a giant fluffy skirt!"

"You know what's fun about fluffy skirts?" Ferb asked. "They can floof out when you spin."

"Cool!" Phineas slipped the witch costume over his head and began to spin.

Perry laughed. "That does look fun. It's fluffed out like a circle." He started to roll around again.

Candace groaned. "Phineas, why can't you just be normal?"

Phineas laughed and took off the dress. "Aw, come on, Candace. We're just having fun."

Candace grabbed her dress and stormed away.

"I love Halloween." Phineas said.

**...**

Perry walked down the street, careful to avoid the eyes of the men holding shotguns. Thad had appointed his men to keep watch on every end of the streets, but luckily, there were very few of them, and they rarely split up.

Perry crept into the apartment complex without being seen. He got into the elevator and pushed the button for the fifth floor.

He got out at his stop and walked down the hall until he found the door he was looking for. He knocked.

"State your business!" Prince shouted.

"Prince, it's me."

There was a long silence before Perry heard movement behind the door. It opened.

Prince was clutching her side with one arm and holding the door open with the other.

"Prince, what happened? Are you all right?"

"Come in."

Perry entered and Prince closed the door. She skated over to the bed, dragging her left leg slightly.

"Prince…"

Prince sat down on the bed, looking sullen.

"Prince, what happened to your leg?"

"Nothing, stop freaking out!" Prince snarled.

"I told you to be careful-"

"Who are you, my father?"

Perry fell silent. They glared at each other.

"It wasn't my fault." Prince mumbled. "One of the guys shot at me and hit my skate instead. I fell off a roof, landed on my leg. I still can't get my wind back." She wheezed faintly.

"What were you doing on a roof?" Perry asked coldly.

"Some idiot had sprayed stencil graffiti on a chimney up there." Prince said resentfully. "Not art at all. Spraying back and forth across a piece of cardboard. It made me sick. So I put something prettier on top of it."

"Prince, you shouldn't do stuff like that!" Perry growled. "You just injured yourself trying to vandalize something! Stay out of the streets!"

"You don't understand!" Prince shouted. "You never understand anything!"

"I don't want you to get hurt!"

"I'm NOT hurt."

"Walk." Perry said.

Prince narrowed her eyes.

"How far did you fall?"

"Far enough to land badly… skates saved me again, by the way… If I'd been on foot, I would've been shot." She seemed to be having trouble breathing.

Perry sat down next to her. "Let me see your leg."

Prince shook her head. "It'll get better."

"Prince, it'll get better faster if we fix it."

"When Rex sat on my head, my spine recovered after two months on its own. My leg will recover."

She started coughing. Perry patted her gently on the back and examined her leg.

"Stop touching it, it hurts."

"Sorry. Hang in there for a second. Where does it hurt the most?"

"If you want to know how much it hurts, I'll show your face."

"Is it your knee, or did you land on your foot…"

"I really will punch you. You want a black eye?"

"Did you land on your FOOT?"

"Yes! Quit it, it hurts!"

Perry took his hand away. "You should probably keep it elevated or something."

"I can't just lie around all day." Prince grumbled.

"You're gonna have to. You're short on breath and have an injured leg. Skating won't be much fun like that."

Prince lay down on the bed, giving him a dirty look. Perry took off her skates for her.

"I'm not trying to take over your life, Prince. I'm trying to help."

"I don't need help. I was managing fine before I met you."

"You're welcome." Perry grumbled.

Prince grinned at him.

"I'm serious, though. Stay here, and stay safe."  
>"It's boring up here. You haven't gotten your lazy butt over here in a while."<p>

"Well, my lazy butt and I are both here now."

They kissed each other for a long moment.

"Stay the night?" Prince asked.

"Sure."

**...**

"EXCELLENT!"

"WOW!"

"AMAZING!"

"OUTSTANDING!"

Perry walked in through the back door, feeling very sleepy. Phineas and Ferb were playing a dancing video game.

Phineas was dancing, but Ferb was sitting on the couch, his motion sensor on the floor.

"5,000 POINTS TO FERB FOR THAT AM-AAA-ZING DANCE MOVE!" The TV said.

"Can video games use sarcasm?" Perry yawned.

"No, they're just really stupid." Ferb said. "I've been putting the sensor on the floor since I was five."

"Good exercise. What's he dancing to?"

"Dial My Number, Perhaps."

"That's a good song." Perry yawned again and lay down on the couch.

"Where were you last night?" Phineas panted, using all of his energy to try and beat Ferb's score.

Perry curled up into a ball and closed his eyes. "Sleepy."

Ferb patted him.

"WOW! FERB IS REALLY GETTING HIS GROOVE ON!" The TV said. "60,000 POINTS!"

"NO! FAIR!" Phineas panted.

"FERB HAS ENTERED SUPERSTAR MODE! ALL POINTS WILL BE MULTIPLIED BY 2!"

"Does that mean both of your guyses points, or just yours?" Perry asked Ferb.

"ARRRGGGGHHHHH!" Phineas yelled.

"Guess." Ferb said.

"Why doesn't he just stick his motion sensor on the floor, too?"

"He's trying to prove to me that you get more points if you actually do the dance moves."

"FERB WINS!" The TV proclaimed. "Ahead by two-hundred-thousand and thirty-nine points!"

"What song shall we do next, Ferb?" Phineas asked.

"All The People Were Judo-Sparring."

"Nah. How about 'Warm and Cool'?"

"No, do 'All You People Dance At This Moment'."

"Anything but a Kendrine Adems song." Perry rolled over to face the couch.

"She was on the news this morning, talking about Thad." Phineas said. "She was crying a bunch and saying she wished he wasn't doing all that bad stuff."

"Publicity stunt." Perry said.

"Let's do the Judo one." Phineas suddenly decided.

"SONG SELECTED." Said the TV.

"You wanna play, Perry?" Phineas asked, handing him a motion sensor.

"Too sleepy." Perry responded.

"You can just put it on the floor." Ferb said.

"Fine, I'll try a round." Perry stretched and took the sensor from Phineas.

The song began to play. Perry and Phineas started imitating the Judo fighters on the screen.

"Is it just punching and posing through the whole song?" Perry asked.

"Yeah, that's pretty much the dance." Phineas answered.

"Do the Chicken Dance next." Ferb suggested.


	5. Chapter 5

Perry hadn't realized it was his phone that was ringing until it vibrated in his pocket. He didn't remember setting his ringtone to "All The People Were Judo-Sparring".

"Ferb." He muttered as he pulled it out. "Hello?"

"Hey, cutie. You going by the store anytime soon?" Prince asked.

"It's near enough to Diminutive's if I have to swing by. Do you need something?"

"Tomatoes."

"…Okay… want me to get some for you?"

"Yeah. At least two packs. I'd get them myself, but my stupid clingy boyfriend told me I have to stay inside because of my leg."

"So now I'm clingy, huh?"

"No, I'm talking about Perry. Oh, I'm sorry, you're Perry, aren't you? I thought you were George. Whoopsie."

"Stop making jokes about cheating on me."

"Spoilsport. Don't forget to buy those tomatoes. Kiss."

"Bye." Perry hung up and stared up at Diminutive's building.

He felt like he was being watched.

He turned around and met Doofenshmirtz's gaze. Doofenshmirtz pretended to be looking somewhere else.

Perry gave a small wave.

Doofenshmirtz seemed confused for a moment. After looking around to ensure Perry really was waving at him, he slowly waved back.

**...**

"Perry! Ferb and I made a new video game. Come see!"

Perry sat down on the couch. Ferb popped a disc into his game system.

The screen lit up.

MUMMY AIRPLANES.

"So, you're mummies flying airplanes?"

"Psh, no." Ferb said.

"They're mummy airplanes." Phineas said. "Airplanes that are mummies."

"Oh, sure, because that makes sense." Perry said.

"Don't look at me, it was Phineas's idea." Ferb muttered.

"It's already sold out in three countries." Phineas said.

Ferb flew his airplane toward an ankh-shaped power-up.

"Fascinating." Perry said.

"You have to collect all of the canopic jars." Phineas said.

"How can a plane have a canopic jar? It doesn't have any organs!"

"Use your imagination, Perry." Phineas said.

"I censor my imagination, thank you very much."

"My imagination is rated R." Ferb said thoughtfully.

Perry and Phineas scooted further away from Ferb.

"You guys are really breaking out the video games."

"Yeah." Phineas nodded. "After our app, Defy the Lady, was downloaded sixty billion times, a game company asked us to create a game."

"They have good taste."

Perry's phone rang. He picked it up.

"Hello, it's Heinz!"

Perry hung up. "So, what's the object of this game? Besides the canopic jar thing."

"You have to find the golden airplane sarcophagus before King Tut does. He has his own airplane with a giant eye painted on the side, and he tries to shoot you down with those little hooky-cane things that mummies always held." Phineas said.

Perry's phone rang again. He sighed and answered it. "Hello?"  
>"Perry the platypus, did you just hang up on me? You little jer-"<p>

Perry hung up.

"Who keeps calling you and ending a conversation so soon?" Phineas asked.

"Wrong number." Perry said, picking up his phone again as it rang angrily.

"Then why do you keep answering?"

"Could be important. It could be Monty or Monogram or… hello?"

"He needs caller ID." Ferb said.

"Dial My Number, Perhaps." Phineas whispered.

Ferb snorted.

"Perry the platypus, please don't hang up on me again. I'm sorry, okay, there, I said it. I apologize for whatever I did that made you not want to be my nemesis anymore. And just so you know, Peter's not fighting me anymore because he's too busy looking for some guy named Thad Badley. But I still don't know what I did wrong, didn't you switch on ME?"

Perry stabbed the "end call" button.

"Cool, Ferb got a scarab beetle!" Phineas said.

Perry growled as his phone rang yet again. "I swear, it's like my phone is some device that lets people yell into my ear every five seconds. WHAT THE HECK COULD YOU POSSIBLY STILL HAVE TO SAY TO ME?"

"Oh, you wanna see other people. I get it. Breaking up through the phone."

"Prince… sorry. Thought you were Doofenshmirtz."

"Oh, that's not insulting at all."

"What's up?"

"You sound tired. I should call later."

"Nah, if I talk to you, all Doof's gonna get is a busy signal. Serves him right. Not that I don't love talking to you. Do you need some more tomatoes you're not gonna eat? Or is this another test to see if I'll go out of my way to get something for you?"

"Do you think you could come over?"

"Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. I just wanna tell you something."

"Uh-oh. Did you get fined for vandalism or something?"  
>"You mean art? No. This'll make you happy." Prince sounded happy herself, not at all sarcastic or mocking. "Really happy. But I don't wanna tell you over the phone."<p>

"Did you toss your roller skates out the window?"

"It won't make you THAT happy. But close."

"You tossed Kendrine Adems out the window." Perry teased.

"Slightly happier than that."

"You tossed Carlos the caring clown out the window."

"It has nothing to do with the window. But you're never gonna find out if you don't come by."

"I can't come by tonight. O.W.C.A business."

"You have to."

"I can't. I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow, maybe?"

"Maybe." Prince sounded doubtful.

"Oh, wait. I think I know what it is. You caught Thad Badley, imprisoned all of his men, got the agency running again, donated thousands of dollars to Phineas and Ferb for their projects, passed an O.W.C.A law saying I never have to leave my family AND single-handedly wiped Carlos off of the face of the earth."

"Don't stress out. I'll see you."

"Keep that leg resting."

Perry focused his attention on the screen again.

"BRAIN PLANE ATTACK!" The game said. The plane threw a brain with one of its wings.

"That's a little disturbing." Phineas said.

**...**

The O.W.C.A agents all gathered around Monty.

Monty seemed happier than usual, so Perry assumed he had good news. Peter, however, looked worried.

"He doesn't usually smile this much." He whispered to Perry, nervously twirling a coin between his paws. "So either something good happened, or he's trying to cover up something bad."

"EVEWYBODY!" Baby Ned shouted, trying to recruit some younger agents to have a sing-along with him. "CAMPTOWN WACES SING DIS SONG…"

"Doo-dah… doo-dah…" The baby animals sang unenthusiastically, watching Monty from around baby Ned.

"CAMPTOWN WACES I-SEE-YOWR-BUTT!"

The baby animals burst out laughing.

Perry rolled his eyes. "You wanna get a baby animal to laugh, just say 'butt', 'underpants', or 'underwear'."

"BUTT! BUTT! BUTT! BUTT!" Shouted baby Ned. "BUTT-TOWN BUTT BUTT BUTT THIS BUTT!"

The baby animals were laughing too hard to sing "doo-dah".

Monty frowned. "What are they doing over there?"

"BUTT-TOWN BUTT BUTT BUTT BUTT BUTT!"

"Do dee doo dah day." Perry chorused under his breath.

"Calm down, Agent N." Carl said.

Baby Ned sat down and beamed up at Carl innocently.

"Da- I mean, Major Monogram is coming back." Monty said happily. "He should be here by tomorrow."

There was a moment of silence.

Then all the agents cheered.

"FINALLY!" Shouted Devon.

"MONOGRAM!" Pinky yelled. "HE'LL BRING THAD TO JUSTICE!"

"OUR LEADER SHALL RETURN!" Bellowed a moose agent.

"BUTT!" Shouted baby Ned.

"He says he can't wait to see you all again." Monty said. "And he knows we'll be able to arrest Thad. Agent P, he was wondering… did you find anything out on that file we needed?"

Perry nodded.

"Great. You can talk to him about it tomorrow. Peter, have you hacked into anything yet?"

Peter put a disc in front of Monty. Monty examined it.

Peter wrote something on the disc with a marker.

"Oh. Where are we supposed to get a hacking code?"

Peter wrote something else.

"THE hacking code? Oh… where are we supposed to get that?"

Peter wrote again.

"Another one of Thad's files? Get on it, then."

Peter saluted and stepped back into the crowd.

"Disband." Monty said.

The agents began talking excitedly to each other.

"What file do you need?" Perry asked Peter.

"A hacking file. I need the coding base for this CD before I can hack into it."

"Do you know where it is?"

"Yeah, but I'd have to break into Thad's house. That could be risky."

Perry sucked in his breath. "The inmost cave."

"We'd help you, though." Pinky said.

"Behind you one-hundred percent." Devon said.

Peter smiled at them and took Perry aside.

"Doofenshmirtz wants you back." He whispered.

"Really?" Perry said sarcastically. "I figured he was just calling me every five seconds to chat."

"It's what you wanted, too. You should go back to him."

"Diminutive's fine for now."

Peter didn't say anything.

"Fine, you're right. But I'm still mad at him."

Peter shrugged.

"I'm behind you, too, you know." Perry said. "I'll help you break into Thad's place if you need me."

Peter smiled. "Thanks, Perry. So I guess we're on friendly terms again?"

"For now."

An agent tapped on Perry's shoulder.

He turned around, staring into a pair of confused blue eyes.

It took him a second to remember that Dennis's memory had been modified. Perry quickly suppressed his urge to punch him.

"Did you need something?"

"Agent P, right?"

"Yes…"

"Could you direct me to Wanda Acronym's division?"

Perry pointed down the hall.

Dennis saluted him and hopped away. Perry stared after him.

"It's weird." He said. "Like a parallel universe or something."

Peter nodded. "Very weird."


	6. Chapter 6

"Okay, so here's the plan." Peter spread out a large blueprint of Thad Badley's house. "Man, this guy's rich. We sneak in through the back door…"

"Why not the side door?" Pinky asked.

"Or the upstairs?" Devon pointed at a balcony.

"That leads to a bedroom, Devon. He's likely to be in there at night." Pinky said.

"There are hundreds of different entrances." Darren said.

"We'll figure where we enter out later. The point is, we need to get here." Peter pointed at a small X he had drawn toward the middle right of the second floor. "And security will probably be tight. I can deactivate a security alarm in no time, but there's no telling what door it will be by."

"Or where Thad will be." Pinky added.

"How will we know how much time we have?" Darren asked.

"Let's face it, guys." Perry said. "We have no idea what we're doing. We've only broken into one house before, and… well, you remember how well that went."

"The Unmentionable Mission." Peter said. "Yeah, we could have done better."

"We really don't know what we're doing." Pinky mumbled.

"I say we get some help." Perry said.

"From who?" Darren demanded. "Dennis? I doubt he remembers how to break into places."

"What about Sergei? He's infiltrated tons of places before." Pinky said.

"Yeah, but he's a midget." Perry said. "We're a lot bigger."

"Carl?" Devon suggested feebly.

They all stared at him.

"What about your girlfriend?" Darren asked. "Does she know how to get in places?"

"Mine?" Perry asked.

"Yeah."

"I suppose she does. I could call her."

"No need to go to that trouble." Pinky said. "We'll find someone else."

"She'll gladly help us out." Perry said. "She's been cooped up for days. And she probably is our best bet. If she tracked me all the way to Colorado, she can probably break into a house."

Pinky didn't look very excited. The other agents, however, seemed a little more cheerful.

"I'll ask her." Perry said. "Any one of you guys have a phone I can borrow? Mine's with Phineas. Ferb changed the ringtone and he's trying to help me change it back."

Peter handed him his phone, and Perry left the room to dial Prince's number.

He heard Darren's voice faintly as he closed the door to the room. "Dude, what is your problem?"

Perry put Peter's phone to his ear and waited as it rang.

"Who's this?" Prince asked.

"It's me. I'm borrowing Peter's phone."

"We talk on the phone too much. We need to talk in person or we're gonna forget what we look like."

"Woah, you're right. I just walked by a mirror. I could've sworn my eyes were a light shade of fuchsia."

"Pfft."

"Well, you wanna get together and talk in person tonight? Turns out we need help at the agency. Something that may be right up your alley."

"Painting?"

"No, not vandalism. We need to break into Thad's house as soon as possible. But we have no idea how to do it. Are you good with that sort of thing?"

"I've broken into tons of rival gang hideouts, smuggled twelve tons of fireworks into a factory and used a fancy hotel as a shortcut to get away from the police. No, I don't think I can help you."

"So, is that a yes?"

"Heck yeah. It sounds like a blast. How many animals are coming with you?"

"Four. Is that too many?"

"Nah, more the merrier. Unless it's a small house."

"Definitely not a small house. We have no idea where he'll be, where to enter…"

"Didn't you take a look at the house?"

"We have a blueprint."

"No problem. I'll take a look at it on the way back to my apartment."

"You're not already there? Prince, why did you…"

"I'm allowed to leave. It's a free country. Besides, I'm getting really good at skating one-legged. Where's this house at?"

Perry told her the street name.

"Fine. I'll figure out a plan and meet you guys there at whatever time."

"Do we need to bring anything?"

"Your usual tools should do it. Gotta go."

Perry turned around to find that the door had opened and all of his comrades were staring at him.

"Did you all turn into Billy clones?"

"Sorry." Darren said.

"It's just so interesting." Devon said. "So she's gonna do it?"

"Yep. Tonight."

**...**

"So which door are we going in?" Devon immediately asked.

Prince shushed him and listened hard through the back door. Then she pulled a small knife out of her belt and ran it through the door crack.

"Not this one. Let's try the next one."

"What are you looking for?" Devon whispered.

"Alarm attached to the door." She responded. "We want to go through a door that won't make it go off instantly. My knife couldn't run completely through the crack, which meant there was a sensor on the door. Come on."

The agents all followed her to the next door.

"What if we just climb through an open window?" Darren asked.

"How are we gonna know if it's open when it's so dark?" Pinky hissed.

"Toss a rock at it." Prince gently inserted her knife into the next door. "If you hear a crashing sound, it's not open. Okay. This door is good. Now remember. One sound, one misstep can get us in a whole ton of hot water. So keep your traps shut."

She glared at Devon and stepped aside for Perry, who stuck a paperclip into the doorknob, attempting to pick the lock. Peter yawned.

"The alarm will beep when you open the door." Prince warned. "But I looked at the house this morning. The code box is right next to each door. If Peter can hack the one near this one and make the alarm shut off, we're good."

Perry heard the lock click. He quietly turned the doorknob.

A soft beeping noise sounded from inside the house. Peter walked into the dark room and began pushing buttons on the alarm system.

Moments later, the beeping stopped.

"Impressive." Prince said. "Are the rest of you just gonna stand out here? Or are you coming?"

"She was in the way of the doorframe." Pinky muttered. He, Devon, Darren and Perry followed the other two inside.

Peter pulled his blueprint out of his pocket and showed it to Prince. "We need to get to the second level."

Prince took a picture of his blueprint with her phone and texted it to Perry. "Send that to the other three. We'll split up and go different ways. That way, if we run into someone up here, we won't all be caught at once."

"Comforting." Perry commented. He forwarded the photo to Devon, Darren and Pinky.

"Silent." Prince said. She wandered off for the dining room. Perry headed into the living room.

Thad's living room was huge. Four couches faced two flat-screen high-def televisions. Paintings of Thad and what Perry assumed to be his wife lined the walls. There was a screen door taking up an entire wall looking out over Danville Beach. A small fountain sat in the middle of the living room. It was Kendrine spilling water from her hands.

Perry fought the urge to destroy the fountain and looked around for anything that would be useful to the agency. All he found were a few books about animals, a phony letter from Thad to Monogram, and the gun Thad had used to tranquilize Perry a few weeks before.

Perry moved on to the next room. This one was obviously the library. There were hundreds of shelves. A single painting hung on the wall. This one was of a small girl with shining golden hair, looking down at a book about rhymes. Baby Kendrine. Perry nearly threw up on the expensive carpet.

There was a stairwell leading to the second floor by the reading couch. Perry quietly walked up.

He wound up in a fancy, carpeted hallway. Thad's phone sat charging by one of the bedroom doors. Perry looked at the map on his phone, and then approached it.

Peter came up one of the stairwells a minute later. He gave Perry a nod and placed a small card into the phone. It began to download the file.

They were soon joined by the rest, last of all Prince, who still seemed to have trouble climbing with her bad leg. They all watched as the file downloaded.

"How is it that when you're downloading an entire album, it takes like five seconds, but when you need something to hurry up, it decides to take forever?" Perry muttered.

TWO HOURS REMAIN IN YOUR DOWNLOAD. The phone said.

Everyone groaned quietly.

ONE HOUR. TEN MINUTES. THREE MINUTES. It suddenly said.

"That's preferable." Peter said. "Three minutes."

Three minutes changed to fifty-six seconds.

"That was a fast two hours." Devon joked.

"How do we get out of here once we have it?" Darren asked.

"Same way we came in." Prince said.

A light flickered on in the bedroom near the phone. All of them froze in fear.

FILE DOWNLOAD NINETY-PERCENT COMPLETE. The phone informed them.

Footsteps were coming.

"We don't have time." Prince whispered. "Take it out and let's beat it."

"We're so close!" Peter insisted. "You guys go on ahead."

"Make a run for it as soon as it finishes." Prince advised, sprinting down the stairs. Pinky and Devon followed. Darren looked at Perry, then at the door, and ran after them.

NINETY-EIGHT PERCENT.

The knob on the door began to turn. Perry grabbed Peter's arm, ready to run.

The phone made a beeping noise. Peter ejected the card. Perry yanked him away and down the stairs right as they heard the door open.

"Thad?" A man's voice called. "I thought I heard a noise. Check the security cams."

"Don't have any." Thad called from another room.

"What is this, prehistoric times?" The man responded.

Perry found the way they had entered and shoved the door open. He and Peter scrambled out with the others.

They walked quickly away from the house in silence. Once they were a safe distance, Perry allowed himself a breath of relief.

"We got it." He said.

Peter nodded, pocketing the card. "Thanks, Prince."

Prince shrugged.

"Good thing we found the phone when we did." Darren said.

**...**

"Walk in much slower, Isabella."

"When do I get to pour the rubber snakes on her head?"

"In a sec, Buford, in a sec."

Perry had to remove his fedora quickly. He hadn't been expecting to come home to so many people at once.

"Oh, there you are, Perry." Phineas said. "We were starting to get worried about you."

"What on EARTH are you guys doing?" Perry asked, keeping his expression mindless.

"We're making a music video." Phineas said. "Starring Isabella."

"You're wasting time, he can't understand you." Buford said.

Perry sat down directly in front of Buford and glared at him.

"All right, where's the sparkles?" Phineas asked.

Baljeet tossed a box of sparkles into the air. They landed all over the floor, glittering innocently.

"Great. Now, Isabella, from the top."

Isabella waltzed in, singing 'Row Row Row Your Boat'. Buford tossed rubber snakes at her. Baljeet kept the glitter coming.

Perry wondered if it was just him, or if the boys were overdoing it.


	7. Chapter 7

"Your father's in charge." Linda said.

She waved, got into the car, and drove away. Lawrence and Candace waved back.

Perry began rolling in a mud puddle.

Sounds of drilling and hammering came from the backyard.

"AGGH." Candace yelled. "PHINEAS AND FERB! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING BUSTABLE RIGHT WHEN MOM LEAVES ON A WEEK-LONG TRIP?"

Perry climbed up out of the mud puddle and jumped right into the middle. Mud splattered everywhere.

"EEEEWWW!" Candace yelled. "EW EW EW EW EW EW!"

Perry pushed up some mud with his bill, searching for worms.

"Oh dear." Lawrence said absent-mindedly. He walked back into the house.

** ...**

"And you are gonna pick me up at six, right, Darren?"

"Yes, Carrie." Darren was squirting red food coloring on the walls.

"And you won't forget or back out, right?"

"I won't, Carrie. Gosh."

"You won't not forget or you won't forget?"  
>"Carrie!"<p>

Perry pinned a zombie drawing on the wall. "You know what I just realized? THIS is the zombie apocalypse."

"Huh?" Darren asked.

"There's like, zombie everything everywhere. Zombie TV shows, zombie games, zombie movies, zombie shirts. And everyone's freaking out over the zombie apocalypse. I think THIS is the zombie apocalypse: everyone being obsessed with zombies."

"I still don't understand how your mind works." Darren shook his head.

"Have you ever seen those things online that tell you the object to your left will be your weapon in the zombie apocalypse?" Perry asked.

Automatically, all three of them looked to their left.

"Tape dispenser. I guess it has sharp edges, at least." Perry said.

"You." Darren said, pointing at Carrie.

Carrie pointed to her left. "Darren's underwear."

"How did those get there? Gimme those!" Darren snatched them away.

Peter wandered into the room. "Hey, Darren. When should I meet up with you for the party?"

"Six-thirty." Darren muttered.

"Cool." Peter left.

"What are you guys going to come as for the party?" Darren asked.

"First I was thinking I'd come as Vance Ward. Then I thought I'd come as Thirty-Face from Baseballman. Now I'm leaning more toward something classic, like a ghost or a werewolf." Perry said.

"I'm going to be a fairy." Carrie said.

"I'm coming as a warlock." Darren said.

"Then again, maybe I should just recycle my old Igor costume from last year. Or maybe I should be a pirate."

"Devon's in charge of the snacks, Kyle's getting the music, and Perry and I are decorating." Darren told Carrie.

"Are there going to be any games?" Carrie asked.

"Uh…"  
>"You have to have games. I'll help you with those." She left the room.<p>

"She's not as skittish as she was last year." Darren commented. "The food coloring alone would have made her faint."

"ACK!" Carrie screamed. "I RAN INTO A SPIDERRR!"

"AAGGH!" Screamed Susan the spider. "A CAT RAN INTO MY WEB!"

Perry yawned. "I hope this party isn't as loud as last year's."

"Hey, you started it. You were the one who got into that fight."

"Was I? I really can't remember now. So, how do you think Carrie's gonna react when she realizes you're going with Peter?"

Darren glared at him.

** ...**

"How do I look?" Ferb asked.

He came out in his evil serpent costume. His hood had glowing eyes and hissing sound effects. Green slime dangled from the fangs.

"Hm. It's okay." Phineas said, fixing his own ghost costume that actually made his body look transparent. "We should have added on some extra special effects, though."

"You guys made those?" Perry asked. "They're amazing."

Phineas shrugged. "They're okay. We're going to the neighborhood Halloween party tonight."

"I have to go to the O.W.C.A one. I hate parties. At least I've got a date this time, maybe it won't be so boring."

"We have a date, too!" Phineas said.

"Isabella." Ferb said.

"She asked us last night. She didn't seem as excited, though, when I told her we accepted. Girls can be funny."

A knock sounded at their bedroom door. Perry immediately got down into his pet form.

Phineas opened the door. "Hey, Isabella!"

Isabella had dressed up as a witch. She beamed at Phineas. "Woah, your costume is amazing! You should have told me what you were going as so I could have been a ghost too! We could have matched!"

"But then we wouldn't match Ferb!" Phineas said.

Ferb nodded in agreement.

"Oh. ...I like Perry's costume." Isabella said. "What is he?"

"I think he's a pirate." Phineas said.

"Ready to go?" Isabella asked.  
>"You and Ferb go on downstairs. I need to fix my costume a little more." Phineas said.<p>

Isabella frowned and started downstairs. Ferb followed her.

Phineas adjusted his ghost robes a little more before turning to face Perry. "Be super careful, Perry."

"With…?"

"Thad and everything. I don't want you to get hurt, okay?"

"I'll try my best. Enjoy your party."

"The instant we come back, tell us how Darren's two dates went." Phineas said excitedly.

"Oh, I'm sure there will be a whole bunch to tell. Have a good time."  
>Phineas waved and ran downstairs, his shimmering green ghost sheet trailing a little ways behind him.<p>

Perry waited until he heard the whole family leave. Then he walked downstairs himself.

** ...**

"This party's a little better than last year, but I think they could have done better on the snacks." Kyle said.

"Devon baked those cookies. I'd stay away from them." Susan the spider said, dangling over Kyle's head on her freshly made web.

Perry made a mental note to stay away from ALL of Devon's cooking. The last time he'd eaten something Devon made, Carl had had to inject him with some medical fluid to stop him from dying.

Someone tapped him on his shoulder. He turned around.

"So you're a pirate. I thought you'd come as a butler and we could match."

"After my horrifying experience at butlering? No way. What are you?"

"French maid zombie." Prince responded. "The zombie thing's been overdone to no end, but I didn't want to come as something cutesy."

"You failed. You look pretty cute to me."

"Well, my father fell into a vat of cutonium before he met my mother. Maybe that has something to do with it. So, what are we supposed to do at these things?"

"I still haven't figured that out yet. Parties. I don't understand them."

"Wish I had some paint."

"Oh no. We are not repeating last year."

"So there was paint last year? I should have started dating you again sooner."

"You love me only for spray paint. I find that sad."

"Darren, could you get me some punch?" Someone said.

Perry and Prince both turned to look.

"Carrie, this is not a date." Darren said.

"Who's dating? I could go for some punch, too." Peter said.

"Usually inviting someone means you'll give them punch." Carrie said.

"Dude, take care of your dates." Kyle told Darren.

Darren fumed.

"Since I'm here with Darren, and Darren's here with Carrie, does that technically mean I'm here with Carrie? Because I don't mind getting her punch if you don't want to." Peter said.

"Fine, I'll get the punch." Darren stormed away.

Perry could have sworn he saw Peter and Carrie wink at each other.

"Is that you, Princess?" Harry asked, coming up to them.

Prince raised an eyebrow.  
>"Sorry." Harry said. "You just look a lot like someone I knew."<br>"It's me." Prince said. "I go by Prince now, though."

"It is you! Whatever happened? Haven't seen you in a while."

Perry left the two of them to talk and grabbed a bottle of water from one of the coolers. He sat down in a skull-shaped chair and stared into space.

"You think you'll last through the whole thing?" Pinky asked, startling him.  
>"I might." Perry said.<p>

"Did Prince abandon you?"

"She and Harry are catching up. She's close by, though. She'll see me when she's done talking."

"You seem tired today."  
>"Bright lights, loud music, strong scents. Parties stress me out. At least I have Prince and Darren's date drama to keep me sane."<p>

"Sounds like a sitcom." Pinky said.

"Darren's Date Drama. Join Darren and a wacky cast of characters as they try to figure out who will be retrieving the fruit punch. Watch Mondays from eight to ten on 'Why Did You Even Pick This Channel'. Don't miss it."

Pinky laughed.

Perry stared off in the distance again. Harry wasn't talking to Prince anymore, but someone else was. Prince was smiling, but her eyes were narrowed.

"What's she doing here?" Perry demanded suddenly.

"Oh, I invited her." Pinky said, shrugging. "She came last year, anyway. And she's an agent. Seemed only right."

Perry walked up to Prince. Poppy smiled at him. "Hey. I was wondering where you were. Prince and I were just talking about you."

"You've met Pops, right?" Perry asked Prince, squeezing her hand to try and calm her down.

Prince nodded curtly, still smiling at Poppy.

"It's weird seeing you after such a long time." Poppy said.

"How are the pups?" Perry asked.

"They're doing great. Toto's good, too. And I see you're doing great as well, relationship-wise."

Perry nodded and smiled at Prince, who glared back at him, her expression still seemingly pleased.

"You should meet the pups sometime." Poppy said. "They resemble Perry more than me. They're so cute."

"We're expecting as well." Prince said.

Perry nudged her, confused. She pretended not to notice.

"Really? Congratulations." Poppy grinned. "How long have you known?"

"A couple weeks." Prince responded automatically.

"I think I need some air." Perry said. "You know how I get at these things. Come on, Prince, we'll talk later."

"See you soon." Poppy said.

Perry dragged Prince into one of the storage closets and locked the door. "Sorry I didn't rescue you from that awkward situation sooner. I will personally murder Pinky for you. But why on EARTH did you tell her we were expecting?"

Prince leaned back against a shelf. "We are." She said quietly. "I meant to tell you. I forgot."


	8. Chapter 8

"You FORGOT? That's not something you can just forget to tell someone! Unless you were afraid to tell me? Prince, we've been trying for a baby for weeks! I wouldn't be upset-"

"I wanted to tell you." Prince broke in. "When I first found out… that was the night you couldn't make it to tell you in person. Then the next time we saw each other, we were breaking into that guy's house and there were four people with us. I really wanted to tell you tonight… guess that worked out."

She looked down at the floor.

"So, it's true, then? We're having a baby?"

Prince looked back up at him and nodded.

Perry let the news sink in. A wonderful feeling began to spread through him.

He jumped up and gave her a hug.

"You're smearing my zombie makeup." She growled.

Perry ignored her. "Oh man… that's so great! Prince, I'm so happy…"

Prince hugged him back. "I knew you'd be! I should have just told you when you called…"

They kissed each other.

A lock clicked, and the closet door swung open. Pinky stood there.

"Sorry, I just got a little confused when Poppy said you were going to get some air and you headed to the storage closet. I'll leave you two…"

"Actually, I just remembered I was about to chew you out. Prince, we'll get out of here and do something to celebrate as soon as I'm done talking to Pinky, okay? I'll meet you by the entrance."

Prince grinned and kissed him on the cheek. Then she ran out of the closet.

"What did I do?" Pinky asked defiantly. "Sorry I burst in on you guys, but I was concerned."

"Concerned enough to send Pops here."

"Hey, you guys were friends. I thought you'd be happy to see her."

"It was good to see her again. But that's not why you invited her. You knew she'd upset Prince."

"I just don't understand." Pinky blurted. "You're an elite agent, and… she gets into trouble a lot."

"You don't know her. She's got a good heart."  
>"She knows how to break into HOUSES, Perry."<p>

"Which gave us a whole ton of help back there. I'm sorry if you don't like her, but this is MY relationship and you'd better not interfere with it."

Pinky sighed. "I'm sorry. I should give her a chance. I just… I don't know how to act around people like that."

Perry patted him on the shoulder.

"So, what were you guys so happy about?"

Perry beamed. "We're going to have a baby."  
>Pinky's eyes widened. "Wow… wow, that's great!"<p>

"I'm so happy. Is it physically possible to be this happy? I don't think I've ever been happier."

"It's because you're so cranky all the time." Pinky smiled. "But really, Perry, that's so great. I'm so happy for you guys."

"Thanks…" Perry hugged him and went back out into the room.

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" The agents were shouting.

Peter was standing on top of one of the tables, pouring grapes into his mouth.

"He's actually doing it!" Clara the chicken sqwawked.

"Why are they saying 'chug'? That's only for when you drink something. We need a word for when you're swallowing a bunch of food." Perry said.

"BUTT!" Baby Ned yelled.

"And that word won't work." Perry said.

"He's going to be sick later on." Pinky said.

"I'm feeling sick just watching him."

Peter managed to swallow all of the grapes and held up his arms proudly to the adoring crowd.

Perry pushed his way through the agents and found Prince staring at Peter with slightly amused interest.

"Impressive." She said. "I thought he would lose it after stuffing six grilled cheese sandwiches in his mouth, but then he ate the carrots AND the grapes…"

"I don't wanna know." Perry put his arm around her. "What do you want to do?"

"This is fun. Let's stick around here." She looked very happy when she gazed at him.

He hugged her.

** ...**

"Where are you, Perry? You didn't come home last night."

"I'm sick. It happens sometimes when I stay up late around a bunch of animals." Perry coughed, holding his phone away so it wouldn't get any germs on it.

"Why aren't you here, then?" Phineas asked.

"If I stayed home, and Lawrence or Candace came in while I was watching TV… or if Candace gets mad… it's just quieter here."

"Can we come see you?"

"Sure. I'm in my lair-" Perry started to have a hacking fit. "In… the… tree… tunnel!"

Phineas and Ferb came down a minute later.

"You okay, Perry?" Phineas asked.

"Sick." Perry coughed. "Head hurts. Stomach hurts. Throat hurts."

"You have a lot of stuff on the sofa." Phineas moved some books aside. "How do you sleep on novels?"

"Not comfortably." Perry sneezed.

Phineas pulled a blanket over Perry and patted him. "We'll take care of you, boy. Don't you worry."

"We'll bring you magazines and plenty of things to sneeze on." Ferb added.

Perry glared at him.

"And we came prepared." Phineas said. "Here's an ice pack for your head… and a couple extra blankets… and some orange juice."

"What, no sculpture of Danville Mountain?"

"Dang, I knew we forgot something. Ferb, I knew we forgot something-"

"I'm ki-" Perry coughed for a full minute. "Ki…dding. Ack." He flopped down against the pillow.

"Do you need anything? Food? Water? More blankets?"

"Could you turn on the television across the room there? I sleep better when sound's going."

Phineas switched on the TV. "Are you sure there's nothing else we can do for you?"

"Carlos cares and Carlos shares…" Sang the television.

"Yeah. Change the channel."

Ferb changed the channel to a movie about onion rings looking for a milkshake.

The door to Perry's lair opened. Monogram walked in, carrying some tea and toast on a tray. He started when he saw the boys.

"Wasn't expecting to see you two down here. Was there an emergency?"

"No, we just wanted to make sure Perry was okay." Phineas said.

"He'll be fine if he just eats something." Monogram set the tray down next to the sofa. "He doesn't want anything to do with food, though."

"It hurts to swallow." Perry muttered.

"Maybe he wants something lighter than toast." Phineas said.

"I tried giving him applesauce. He spit it out."

"Perry, you need to eat." Phineas said.

"Mmm." Perry rolled onto his belly and closed his eyes. His head was pounding from the headache.

"He's generally very healthy, so his colds don't last long." Monogram said. "He'll probably be feeling like himself again tomorrow or so. I'll tend to him, go on home."

"Can we stay with him for a little while?" Phineas asked.

"Just a little while. Wouldn't want your parents to worry."

"Oh, dad won't notice." Phineas said.

Perry felt Ferb's hand on his back. He purred slightly and drifted off to sleep.

** ...**

Perry nearly slept through his ringtone. He probably would have if it hadn't been set to "All The People Were Judo-Sparring" instead of his usual generic ring.

"All the people were judo-sparring, HOTAHUA! Those dogs as slow as farming, HAI! Yes, it was quite alarming…"

"Ferb." He mumbled groggily before answering. "Hello?"

"You sound funny. Are you sick?"

"Yeah. You shouldn't have…" Perry coughed. "You shouldn't have made me stay through that party last night. How are you?"

"Listen…" Prince said. "I got another letter. They said I have until tomorrow to deliver the file."

"Who did?" Perry yawned. His head was beginning to pound again.

"Flaming Planet." Prince said wearily. "The gang that has Crusher. I'm going to get her out of there."

"Prince… no."

"I have to." Prince said defiantly. "Don't stop me. My leg's better. I'm not defenseless."

"You have our baby."

"So?"

"We…" Perry hacked. "We can't risk anything happening. I'll go get her. I'll go…"

"You're sick. I'm not sick."

"Stay there." Perry slowly sat up. His head began to object. "I'll… get her… to you."

"The virus spread to your brain. You're mental. Lie down, you idiot. I'm going."

"No." Perry said firmly. "Stay there."

Prince sighed. "Don't pass out. It'd suck to lose both of you."

** ...**

Perry felt like his head was going to explode. His lungs had expressed a desire to cough a while ago, and holding the cough in proved to be pretty much impossible.

He covered his mouth with his elbow and walked through the silent, dirty hallway. Flaming Planet hadn't picked a particularly nice place to hide. It wasn't very secure, either. Someone had obviously forgotten to lock the back door to the area where they kept prisoners.

Either that, or they suspected Prince would come for her daughter. It couldn't possibly be this easy to rescue Crusher.

Perry looked into each barred cage as he passed by, but every one was empty. He felt dizzy and tired.

He looked hard into a cage on his right, then started to push on.

"I'm right here." A voice said.

Perry turned to his left.

A platypus was staring coldly at him, sitting in the corner.

"Crusher?" He asked.

She nodded and stood up. She was obviously related to Prince. Her eyes were the same color, and she seemed to have the same appreciation for clothing, wearing a light blue dress with touches of neon pink.

"Your mom sent me." Perry said hoarsely. His throat didn't like having to make noise.

"Figures." Crusher grumbled. "Waits until the last minute and doesn't even come herself. What number boyfriend are you?"

"She's worried about you."

"That's a funny story. You should be a comedian."

"Look, my voice is going. Do you want out or not?"

"Of course I want out. I've been stuck here for weeks."

Perry pulled a small screwdriver out of his pocket and began working with the lock. Crusher watched him.

"Take your time." She said. "Just be sure to finish before the next century."

"You're a lot like your mother." Perry growled.

"Don't you EVER say that to me again-" Crusher began.

An alarm began to sound. They heard people running overhead.

"So much for a stealthy escape." Perry coughed and broke the lock. He swung the door open, and Crusher stepped out, looking up at the ceiling.

"They'll probably guard the way I came in by the time we get there." Perry choked. "It was a trap."

"You have any weapons on you?"

Perry handed her his extra grappling gun. She stared at it as if it were the strangest thing in the world.

"We're aiming to escape, not kill." Perry said. "Come on."

Crusher looked like she didn't like the idea, but she ran after him down the hallway.

They turned a corner and found a door at the end.

Perry thrust it open.

Inside were a group of animals wearing red shirts and carrying weapons of their own.

"Should we try a different way?" Crusher asked.


	9. Chapter 9

Perry slammed the door and ran back down the hall. His lungs and head were furious with him. All he wanted to do was lie down and make the pounding in his head go away.

It didn't help that Crusher was giving him an even bigger headache on top of everything else.

"Excellent plan. Really. So how did Prince bribe you? Cash? Your life? Other means? You don't appear to be a gang member. So she tricked you into doing this? Used her wiles?"

"Shut UP!" Perry hacked.

She seemed too far behind him. He grabbed her wrist and tugged her along, members of the Flaming Planet closely gaining on them. Shots rang out, barely missing them.

"I told them they were stupid to use me as bait." Crusher said. "Prince cares dirt about me."

Perry felt his wrist slipping from her grip. "What's with the plastic sandwich gloves? You a cafeteria worker when you're not getting locked up in places?"

"I prefer not to leave my fingerprints everywhere."

"Hang on!"

"Slow down! I'm going to throw up."

"That makes two of us."

He heard Crusher fire the grappling gun, felt her catch something, and then heard shots ringing in the opposite direction. She had obviously gotten herself a weapon.

"Careful where you aim that." Perry warned, making a sharp right.

"OW! I'm a solid object, bucko! Tell me before we turn!"

Perry pulled his phone out of his pocket with his free hand and punched the emergency button. His hovercraft would probably be landing in a few minutes, and they could escape.

Crusher was fighting to keep up with him, swearing and calling him many names, some of which he wasn't sure he even understood. A bullet whizzed closely by his head and hit a pot, shattering it.

He saw a faint light toward the end of the hall.

"Keep shooting." He told Crusher, trying to will his head to last until they were safely in the hovercraft.

"I'm out of ammo!" Crusher shouted.

"Well, watch both of our backs, then!"

He burst outside and leapt into the hovercraft, which had been waiting innocently for him. He grabbed Crusher and thrust her into the passenger seat.

The hovercraft rose, and they zoomed away, leaving Flaming Planet shouting in the distance.

Perry felt the little energy he had leave him. His head was spinning. "Drive." He choked. "You… drive."

Crusher reached over him and grabbed the steering mechanism.

"Go… go to… her apartment." Perry closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat. His head throbbed, and his throat was on fire.

He heard Crusher huff, but the hovercar began to sail in the right direction.

** ...**

Perry knocked on Prince's door. Prince opened it almost immediately.

"You're sweating all over. You should have been lying down, I told you."

Perry gestured weakly toward Crusher. "Here… she's okay. I… need to sit down."

He moved past Prince into the apartment and sat down in an armchair.

Prince was staring at Crusher, who appeared not to have noticed her mother and was busy studying the ceiling.

"Come in." Prince said.

Crusher looked at her skeptically, and then entered. She sat down on the bed and adjusted her plastic gloves.

Prince closed the door and went into the bathroom. She came back out with an ice pack and handed it to Perry.

Perry held it against his head gratefully.

"Did you thank him?" Prince asked.

Crusher scowled at her. "For what?"

"He was sick with a fever and he went and got you out of that whole mess."

"Why do you care? He's just a tool to you." Crusher snapped.

"Shut it!" Prince looked dangerously close to punching her daughter in the face. "I would have gone to spare him. But he insisted."

"Guess I still would have been locked in that cell if you hadn't been convinced to let him get me. It's funny how much you've fooled him. He kept insisting you actually cared about me."

"I DO care about you, you ungrateful little-"

They began shouting insults at each other. Perry tried to cover his ears.

"Headache." He mumbled.

"WHY? WHY DIDN'T YOU GET ME YOURSELF, YOU LAZY SELFISH-"

"I COULDN'T RISK IT WITH-"

"LIKE I SAID, SELFISH!"

"I'M HAVING A BABY, YOU DOLT! I CAN'T RUN AROUND WITH RIVAL GANGS WHEN I HAVE A BABY!"

That silenced Crusher. She stared at Prince in disbelief.

Prince was shaking in anger, her fists clenched.

"With him?" Crusher asked, her voice tiny.

Prince nodded quickly.

Crusher's eyes narrowed. "Enjoy your new family. It must be nice for you. Being able to start over because you didn't like your old one. I get kidnapped by killers, and you two run off and have a baby. Cute. Glad to see you're happy, mom. Goodness knows _your_ happiness is all you care about."

Crusher left the apartment, slamming the door loudly behind her.

Prince was still standing in the same spot, breathing hard.

She burst into tears.

Perry got up and hugged her. She buried her head in his chest.

"It's okay." Perry whispered. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I waited… too long… to get her." Prince sobbed.

"She didn't mean any of that. She's just being a jerk."

"She's… who she is… because of me." Prince clutched him so tightly he was finding it harder to breathe. "I… I never took… good care of her…"

"Of course you did. You did the best you could."

"I… was like that… when you met me. You know… I was like that. She learned it… from me… she hated me… so she left me… and I never got to prove… that I cared about her…"

Perry patted her on the back. He didn't know what else to say.

Prince _had_ been a jerk when he'd met her. She had taunted him countless times, shot at him, got into fights with him, and threatened him. She had begun a relationship with him to get close enough to him for safety from being arrested for illegal acts. Then she broke up with him, leaving him completely destroyed.

But he knew that wasn't how she was. Who she was now was how she was supposed to be.

"She'll come around." He said.

Prince hugged him tighter. He patted her some more, trying to somehow comfort her.

** ...**

Perry stared at the television, bored. His fever was dying down, but his head still hurt. His limbs were also weak and tired, and he didn't feel like getting up.

He heard a knock, and the back door to his lair opened. Phineas and Ferb entered, carrying a bowl of soup.

Perry stared at Ferb's attire. "What in the name of… what are you WEARING, Ferb?"

Ferb began to laugh.

"Okay." Phineas said. "So, our math teacher Mr. Morrison said he wanted to have shirts for his class like how clubs have shirts and stuff, and he said we all could come up with designs. So Ferb came up with this one design…"

Ferb spun around. "It's Mr. Morrison's face on the front!"

"I see that." Perry said. Mr. Morrison's face was certainly very prominent, and the words MR. MORRISON were printed in neon green bubble letters under his blankly smiling face.

"And on the back is the back of Mr. Morrison's head!" Ferb said, turning around.

Perry started laughing so hard he coughed.

"Mr. Morrison was kind of embarrassed." Phineas said.

"I'm wearing this shirt every day." Ferb said. "Until winter. And then I will mass-produce them for every kid in the school."

"I'm sure Mr. Morrison will be proud." Perry said.

"We brought soup." Phineas said, setting down the bowl next to the couch. "It's noodle soup, because we know how you feel about chicken."

"Turkey." Perry corrected. "Thanks. I get a little woozy around chicken anyway."

"You should eat." Phineas said.

"I will. In a bit."

"What are you watching?" Phineas looked at the TV.

"'Barley's Return To Fairy Princess Unicorn Mermaid Fashion-Designer Ballerina Castle' or something like that."

They stared at the television as Barley danced across the screen in a shiny pink dress. Her magical blue talking cow followed her.

"Why do they always make the animals speak English? It's disturbing." Perry said. "They don't have the voiceboxes for that."

"Hey, I was meaning to ask you." Phineas said. "In animal movies, like cartoon ones, when they make the dogs say 'woof' and stuff, does it mean real words?"

"Yep. And since people just use random tones of barking, it sounds really funny. Take that old Disney cartoon with the dog named after that planet. Remember that one where the mouse guy said 'Hoo boy, Pluto, let's go on a picnic'?"

"Yeah, and then Pluto said 'Woof woof arf woof'."

"Yeah. So, loosely translated, that meant 'Piles dear kangaroo cabinet kingdom'."

"Oh dear." Ferb said.

"I think a non-talking animal is coming up!" Phineas said, pointing at the Barley movie. A cat started mewing at Barley's talking cow.

"Princess Kittyrella says that she sees a magical sparkling stream ahead!" The cow said to Barley.

"Nope." Perry said. "She says 'Triceratops halfway pseudonym lilac heads'."

"This is awesome." Phineas said.

Perry coughed. "Good to see you two appreciating meows and barks."

Phineas and Ferb sat down in front of the couch and began watching the Barley movie with him, occasionally pointing out all of the plot holes and grammatical errors. Perry was content just having them with him. He watched the movie a little, but mostly kept his eyes on them, sitting in front of him, the backs of their heads looking completely focused, and the back of Mr. Morrison's head looking completely ridiculous on Ferb's shirt.

** ...**

"Polar bears." Ferb said.

Phineas instantly burst into hysterical giggles. Ferb started chuckling, too.

Perry knew he shouldn't have let them drink the whole carton of chocolate milk. The boys didn't do well hyped up on sugar.

"Buckling seatbelts, buckle-dee-doo!" Ferb said.

Phineas was in tears, holding his stomach. Ferb was beginning to lose it as well, and was already sliding on the floor in a fit of laughter.

"Come on, boys." Perry said sleepily. "Calm down."

"Wurny… the Purr!" Ferb squeaked. He rolled onto the floor and began laughing so hard no sound came out.

"Wurny the pu-hu-hurr!" Phineas echoed.

"You look like you were attacked by the Teaser. That guy from Baseballman."

"Turby little curby all sturfed with flurf!" Phineas was singing. His words were barely audible through his giggling.

"Seriously, guys. Chill. Calm down."

Phineas wiped his eyes and sat up, letting out a breath of relief.

"Buhhh-lizard!" Ferb said.

Phineas broke down again.

"Ferb, please. I just calmed him down. Ugh, now I know why Linda gives you mostly sugar-free snacks."

"Like apples- hee hee hee! APPLES!" Ferb said.

"You guys are gonna crash pretty soon."

"It's a horse in a bookcase!" Ferb said.

"HURSE ERN ERR BERKCARSE!" Phineas said.

"At least I hope soon. I don't want to have to go through this all night."


	10. Chapter 10

Perry woke feeling groggy and exhausted.

"Should have guessed running from crazed gang members yesterday wouldn't have improved my health." He muttered.

He looked toward the television. It was still on, playing an ad about toothpaste. Phineas and Ferb were asleep on the floor. Phineas was partially leaning against the couch and was sleeping with a very intense look on his face. Ferb was using Phineas's lap as a pillow, and was still wearing his Mr. Morrison shirt.

Perry gently rubbed Phineas on the shoulder. "Phinny? Wake up. Lawrence will probably notice you're gone."

Phineas made an annoyed sound and shifted his position.

"Phin. Come on." Perry tried Ferb. "Ferb? Get up. You need to go home."

"Mno."

Perry managed to lift Ferb up a little. Ferb stretched and yawned. "There you go. Wake your brother up. Don't want Lawrence to worry about you guys."

Ferb poked Phineas in the side. Phineas rubbed his eyes.

"Go on." Perry shooed them out of his lair and switched off the television.

He stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before he got up. He felt a little weak and shaky from lying down for so long.

Suddenly someone burst into his lair.

It was Peter. He was looking exceptionally fluffy and quite happy.

"Perry, I got him! I got him!"

"Got who?" Perry asked sleepily. He pulled on his robe and tied it.

Peter yanked someone into the room: A tall man, handcuffed, looking completely disheveled and annoyed.

Thad Badley.

** ...**

"I can't believe it, Thad. You and I were so close."

Monogram was glaring at Thad over the top of his desk. Thad kept his eyes down, looking murderous.

Peter was spinning a coin in between his paws.

"So, let's get to the bottom of this." Monogram sighed. "All this, just over a game of hopscotch?"

"No." Thad said.

"What, then?"

Thad looked up, his face pale. "It wasn't me who wanted you to fall, Monogram. That was her cover. She told everyone working for us that I was mad about hopscotch."

"Who? Who did?"

"Franny." Thad said.

Monogram narrowed his eyes. Peter stopped spinning his coin.

Perry nearly choked on his own breath.

"My sister?" Monogram asked slowly. "Thad, why did you work with my sister?"

Thad's eyes were full of hatred.

"She threatened her, Francis. Threatened my girl. What more was I to do? I promised her I would work to bring you down. Act like it was all my idea. Pretend I was acting alone. Or she would… she'd… Kendrine…"

Although it made Perry feel sick to think anyone would want to save Kendrine, he understood completely what Thad was going through- the same internal battle Prince had fought with Crusher. The same battle Perry fought so often for his owners.

Save the greater good? Or save the people who mean more to you than anything?

Thad had begun to sob. Monogram handed him a tissue.

"I'm afraid we'll have to interrogate you a bit more, and you won't have unlimited access to the perimeters like before."

Thad nodded silently, his red face buried in the tissue. "Francis… I didn't want to betray you. You must know how hard it was. And the animals. I never wanted to hurt the animals. But she threatened my daughter…"

"The animals are fine, Thad."

"We never found the master file." Thad blubbered on. "She wanted that more than anything, but our trap didn't work. So it's still safe. Just thought… you should know."

"We'll have to erase your memory after you tell us all you know." Monogram said.

Thad nodded again. "Maybe it's better that way, anyway."

Perry left them to their chat and headed out of the room. He needed to get some cough syrup from the pharmacy before it closed.

** ...**

Perry was exhausted by the time he got to the pharmacy. He'd thought walking would clear his head a little and help him feel better.

He had to stop and take a cough break on the bench outside of the pharmacy. When he finally finished, he wiped his eyes and sighed.

He looked around to get his bearings and saw Crusher sitting on the curb, staring at a flower she was twirling between her gloved fingers.

"Fancy meeting you here." Perry said.

Crusher shrugged.

"It probably doesn't mean anything to you, but your mother cried when you left."

Crusher looked up at the sky.

"She loves you."

When he got no response, Perry headed toward the pharmacy.

He was just putting his hand on the door when Crusher said, "I didn't know what to do. I hadn't seen her in a long time. I didn't think she'd be happy to see me."

"Of course she was happy to see you." Perry said.

"She didn't act like it."

"I'm sure she felt the same way you did. She didn't know what to say or how to act around you."

Crusher shook her head and adjusted her panda tank top. "Who knows. She's unpredictable."

"Give her another chance." Perry said. "I'm sure she'll give you one. She loves you."

The panda on Crusher's shirt was saying something in Chinese and holding a fruit smoothie out triumphantly. It reminded Perry slightly of Peter.

And the thought of Peter reminded him of someone else.

** ...**

Perry knocked on the purple door.

"Ugh, another one of those door-to-door seller people. I need to remember to make a door-seller-destructinator one of these days. HANG ON, I'M COMING."

The door opened, and Doofenshmirtz looked straight out to meet his visitor. When he saw no one, he looked down.

Perry waved.

"…Perry the platypus? What are you doing here?"

Perry shrugged.

Doofenshmirtz looked very nervous all of a sudden. "I don't have anything that would be of any interest to you. There's half a fruit smoothie in the fridge, though. Banana orange. Do you like smoothies?"

Perry walked past him into the room and sat down on one of the couches. Doofenshmirtz brought out a Styrofoam cup that said MR. SLUSHIE BURGER on it in purple letters.

Doofenshmirtz stirred the contents a little with the straw. "It's more melty-y than smoothie-y, but you're fine with that, right?"

It sounded disgusting, but Perry accepted the cup anyway and drank a little. It tasted of bananas, oranges and the inside of Doofenshmirtz's fridge.

Doofenshmirtz sat down across from Perry and looked at the floor. Perry stirred the smoothie some more in an attempt to make it all the same texture.

"Oh, Perry!" Doofenshmirtz suddenly cried out, startling Perry into dropping the smoothie all over the rug. "I'm sorry I made you mad! I miss you, Perry the platypus! You're the only nemesis I want! Please, come back. Please!"

Doofenshmirtz was practically on his knees. Perry felt a lump in his own throat, although it could have been his body reacting to the three-day-old smoothie.

"Perry?"

Perry placed his paw on Doofenshmirtz's outstretched hand. Doof's eyes watered in happiness.

For a very brief moment, Doofenshmirtz leaned forward as if to hug him.

Perry jumped back, and Doofenshmirtz let go of his paw.

"So. Tomorrow I'll have a scheme worked up. You'd better be there to thwart me. And what's this, you come into a guy's house and spill things all over the floor…"

Perry grinned. It was good to be back.

** ...**

"D'ya hear that?" Welton asked.

The sound of a spray can. Grapes knew that sound anywhere. He'd grown up hearing it.

"Idiots." He whispered. "You'd think they'd wait until we were gone."

Grapes padded quietly toward the source of the sound. Welton followed, speaking softly into his micro-sized communicator. "Welton to Waterspout. Royal Guard has infiltrated again by the west area. Grapes is with me. We're heading toward the source. Notify the rest of us. We'll surround them."

They reached the end of the tunnel and wound up in the middle of the warehouse. A scrawny dog was painting the words "ALLIANCE" on a pole.

"Well, looks like we caught one of 'em red-handed." Grapes said loudly.

The dog turned. He was surprisingly calm.

"When will the rest of you get here?" He asked.

As if on cue, the other members of the Waterfall emerged from different entrances into the room. All had their handguns out.

Waterspout stepped out from the crowd, staring at the dog with annoyance. "So you're the one who's been coming here and painting all over our gorgeous hideout?"

The dog looked around at the dirty warehouse floors and damaged steel walls. "Royal Guard is requesting an alliance with Waterfall."

"What?" Waterspout demanded. He motioned for his gang members to put away their weapons and advanced toward the dog.

"Flaming Planet has formed an alliance with an enemy with a large force." The dog said. "They will be the only gang safe if this force wins. You have noticed the men shooting at any gang members in the streets?"

Waterspout nodded.

"If we band together for the inevitable coming battle, we will have a chance of keeping our lifestyle."

"What's your name, dog?" Waterspout demanded.

The dog used his spray can to paint the floor. Waterspout narrowed his eyes.

MALICE.

"Well, Malice, why didn't your leader come to deliver this message herself?" Waterspout asked.

"Our leader is currently in hiding. She is in no state to run through the streets at this time."

Waterspout folded his arms.

Malice waited patiently.

"If you promise to stay away from our place…"

"No more vandalism for now." Malice agreed.

Waterspout gave a nod. "Then notify your leader. We accept this alliance. Waterfall, disband. Allow Malice to leave undisturbed."

"Dang." Grapes said to Welton as they went back through the tunnel. "I thought something interesting was finally going to happen."

** ...**

"Brought you some Chinese food." Perry said, letting himself into Prince's apartment.

"Thanks." Prince said. She was lying on her bed, staring at the television.

"You look a little pale. Don't tell me I got you sick." Perry set the bag of food on her bedside table.

"I just don't feel good. Chill." Prince growled.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No."

"All right then. Stay safe." Perry started to let himself out.

"I inherited a radioactive trait from my father." Prince said. "I wasn't kidding when I said he'd been exposed to cutonium. Anyway… I think that may somehow transfer to the baby. And I don't know how that will affect it. All I know is that I'm not feeling as active as I did when I was carrying Crusher."

"You're probably just tired."

"Get out of here before I yell at you in my crankiness."

"Do you need me to call Monogram or someone? A vet?"

"No. I can take care of myself."

"It'll be okay." Perry said.

"Hope so." Prince said quietly.

A skinny mutt shoved past Perry through the open door. "Prince, Waterfall has agreed to ally with Royal Guard. But Flaming Planet is closing in on Waterfall's turf. We may be too late."

Prince didn't take her eyes off the television. "Stand by them, Malice. And make sure to get as many people on our side as possible."


	11. Chapter 11

"There a real battle going on?" Perry asked.

Malice nodded. "Men trying to rid of us. I'm not sure if we're really their main target, though."

"The O.W.C.A is their main target." Prince said darkly.

"So they're planning an attack soon." Perry said. He turned to Malice. "When?"

"We're not sure. We've only heard back from a few members of the Waterfall, and none of them know- Prince, is he allowed to know this?"

"He's an agent. He's allowed."

"An agent?" Malice glared at Perry.

"Not one that will rat us out. Relax." Prince hissed.

"All they know is that the attack was planned for tonight, but their leader was delayed slightly." Malice finished. "They may be aiming for tomorrow. Prince, will you be up for it?"

"I'm immobilized for the time being." Prince said.

Malice gave a nod. He left, slamming the door behind him.

"That means Franny's moving in on us." Perry said. "You still have the file safe?"

"Why else do you think they're cracking down on gangs?" Prince asked. "If they've accessed the O.W.C.A database, they'll know that I'm a likely candidate chosen by Monogram to hold it. Former agent no longer affiliated with the agency, living in Danville…"

"You changed your name, though. They shouldn't have been able to find you."

"So I guess they were just supposed to figure Prince Curran had nothing to do with Princess Curran? They're smarter than that." Prince suddenly gave a snarl that made Perry jump.

"Sorry. I don't feel good." Prince was shaking. "Just get out of here."

"You need help. I'll call someone."

"I don't… just leave, okay? I want to throw something. And unless you want a pillow in your face…"

"I'll call Monogram…"

Perry winced as a small decorative pillow flew past his face.

"I'm gonna move on to chopsticks and alarm clocks if you don't leave." Prince warned.

"Fine, fine, I'm going. Take care of yourself. Call if you need anything."

** ...**

Peter was trying to prove to everyone that he could eat twelve hot dogs in under one minute.

"Please, Peter." Perry said. "I just recovered from my illness."

Peter stuffed the first hot dog into his mouth.

"GO PETER!" Cheered Devon.

"BUTT!" Shouted baby Ned, who had appeared from out of nowhere.

It had been about a week since Monogram had extracted information from Thad. Apparently Franny was planning to use power generators connected to the underground tubes of the O.W.C.A to explode them from the inside, thereby destroying the agency.

The best searcher agents had gone to find these generators, but they had found nothing. Monogram suspected Franny hadn't put her plan into action quite yet.

After having his memory erased, Thad had suddenly become much more fun to be around, although he talked nonstop about his daughter Kendrine, which annoyed Perry to no end.

"She's such a smart girl, creating a hit single with only two words." Thad was boasting to Monty.

"Gitchie Gitchie Goo's twelve-billion times better." Perry muttered.

Peter stuffed a second hot dog into his mouth. The agents cheered.

"Ten more to go!" Darren said.

"Hurry, Peter, hurry!" Devon said.

Perry wasn't sure what to do. If he watched Peter break a hot-dog record, he would surely throw up. On the other hand, if he ignored Peter and listened to Thad's Kendrine conversation, he would surely throw up.

He decided to watch Peter.

Peter was just starting on his fourth hot dog when Ernest the eagle burst into the room in a panic.

"Major! Sir! We just located a number of explosives down near the tunnels! They're impossible to destroy from underground! And there is also a giant tortoise robot destroying downtown Danville."

Monogram stood up. "Ernest, what is it? Are you all right?"

Peter paused in mid-hot-dog.

Ernest handed Monogram a note. Monogram scanned it, and looked up.

"All field agents. Go and find those explosive generators. Destroy them. GO!"

** ...**

Perry pulled himself out of the O.W.C.A tunnel and found himself in Downtown Danville. It was dark, so it must have been later than he'd expected.

Men in black suits were chasing innocent people down the streets. Agents and security agents were running around, trying to avoid the armed men and locate the generators.

Someone grabbed Perry from behind, yanking him back, and gave him a huge kiss.

"What the heck, Prince! You gave me a heart attack!" Perry gasped. "What are you doing here?"

Prince gestured toward the chaos. "Fighting for the agency, what does it look like? Not to worry. I had the egg a couple nights ago. It glows in the dark, but it seems otherwise unharmed by the cutonium. I feel pretty good now. So, what are we doing?"

Perry looked behind her. Tons of animals on roller skates, skateboards and scooters appeared to be at her disposal.

"All your gang members?" He asked.

"Some from Royal Guard, yes. Others from Waterfall."

"You need to find Franny's generators. They're attached to explosives that will destroy the inner workings of the O.W.C.A."

"We can do that." Prince turned to the animals and gave them a couple commands. Half of the members wheeled away.

"Mom!"

Prince looked confused as Crusher came running up to her, breathless.

"Mom… I can help. Where are they headed?"

Prince frowned. "Tops of buildings. Some areas scattered around. Basically just find a generator and destroy it."

Crusher nodded.

Prince led her away. Perry turned his attention to the giant tortoise foot that had just stepped next to him.

"ATTENTION, CITIZENS OF DANVILLE."

Hearing Franny's voice, Trevor the doberman, Cecily the cheetah and Erica the ermine cowered. Perry felt like cowering himself. He didn't like thinking about a giant talking tortoise that could step on him at any minute.

"YOU HAVE EXACTLY ONE HOUR BEFORE THE AGENCY KNOWN AS THE O.W.C.A IS GONE FOREVER, AND EXACTLY ONE HOUR OF YOUR NORMAL LIVES. WITHOUT THE AGENCY, YOU WILL HAVE NO ONE TO STOP ME FROM BECOMING YOUR LEADER."

"And all because I accidentally poured orange juice on her cereal when she was five." Perry heard Monogram mutter as he ran past to help an agent that had been shot by one of Franny's men.

"ALL THOSE WHO OBJECT WILL BE DISPOSED OF." Franny continued. "AND IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, FORMER AGENT, THE O.W.C.A MASTER FILE WILL BE MINE!"

The tortoise began to stomp in another direction. Perry grabbed his phone and turned on its explosive locator.

One of the generators was near the city hall. Perry ran in that direction.

The giant tortoise was firing purple rays from its mouth. The rays hit a couple of agents, who yelped in pain.

Baby Ned kicked the tortoise's leg. "TORTOISE, YOU ARE THE BUTT!"

"GET NED BACK TO SAFETY!" Monogram shouted at Brandon the bulldog, who rushed to do so.

Pajamas the parakeet, whom Perry had saved from a pet store, was dive-bombing a couple of the armed men. They swatted at him, but he simply flew out of the way.

"Men with guns, men with guns, Pajamas shall beat you all!" Pajamas sang.

Perry found one of the generators behind the tall column of city hall. He opened up its inner panel and began to disconnect the wires.

One of the wires suddenly burst, singing his fingers. Perry gave out a cry of pain and tried to soothe them by laying them on the cold concrete.

He pulled a pair of pliers out of his pocket and cut the main wire. The generator powered down with a sighing sound.

Relieved, Perry looked for the next generator on his phone.

The next nearest one was by Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.

Perry ran down the street. He passed Kyle, who was kicking one of the armed men with his powerful hind feet.

Pig agents were squealing a battle cry as they chased another man away from a woman and her baby.

Perry saw Prince up ahead as well, closely pursued by three of Franny's men. She was holding a can of spray paint behind her, releasing the paint on her attackers. Two of the men were already mostly a delightful shade of neon purple.

A bull agent went streaking past in a hovercar, and the three men abandoned their chase to run after him. One of the men fired a shot behind him as he chased after the bull.

It hit Prince in the side, and she fell.

Perry ran to her.

He skidded to a stop next to her and placed a hand on her side. She cringed slightly. He rolled her onto her back.

"You okay? Where did they hit you?"

Prince wheezed and put a hand on her ribs.

Perry lifted up her hand. All he saw was red.

She closed her fingers around his hand and drew it up to her face. "You… got burned…"

"It'll heal. Can you stand?"

Prince wheezed again.

Perry began to get the same feeling in the pit of his stomach that he'd had when he had found out he wouldn't be seeing his friend Terrence the turkey again.

"Come on, Prince." He pulled a hanky out of his pocket, trying to mop up the wound a little.

"They'll… head for the apartment. That's where they were going. I was trying to lead them away." She told him. "They want the file. They'll look everywhere."

"It'll be okay, Prince. Keep your eyes open."

"Get the egg out. Get it safe." She said weakly.

"Prince…" Perry felt tears forming. He tried to choke them back.

Prince looked into his eyes. "You… can't save everyone, Perry. Go. Keep it safe. Before they find it."

Perry shook his head. "I can't just leave you here." He felt the water sliding down his cheeks. Prince wiped his tears with a shaking hand.

"I… can take care of myself, remember?" She smiled a little and gave a shuddering breath. "Protect the egg."

"Prince… please… don't…"

He couldn't get the word out.

"Go." Prince said again, barely above a whisper. "Please."

** ...**

Perry found the egg sitting under a blanket on the bed. It gave off a pink glow when he touched it, and was surprisingly small.

He put the blanket back around it and tucked it under his arm. Then he searched in the desk drawer for the O.W.C.A master file, located it, and hid it within the blankets.

His vision was blurred from tears. He could barely see his way out of the apartment, and the cold hand that had clutched his heart after Terrence's death was back again.

"Stop right there!"

Perry looked up and wiped some of the water out of his eyes. One of Franny's men was directly in front of him.

"What's in that blanket?"

Perry narrowed his eyes and took a step back.

"Easy, tiger. Just hand over what you're holding and no one gets hurt."

Perry turned and sped down the hallway, ignoring the shouts and yells from behind him.

They couldn't get the file. All would be lost.


	12. Chapter 12

Perry ran through the neighborhood, holding the blanket and its contents as tightly as he dared. He hoped he had been able to outrun Franny's men, but even though he didn't see them, he couldn't be certain.

He slipped through the petflap on the Flynn-Fletcher door and ran upstairs into Phineas and Ferb's room. Phineas was reading something to Ferb.

"Oh, there you are-" Phineas began, then stopped. "Perry, are you okay? You look really upset."

Perry took the file out of the blanket and stuffed it inside a pair of cow-patterned boxers in Ferb's underwear drawer. Then he handed the egg to Phineas, still wrapped in the blanket.

"Please keep it safe for now. Don't let anyone have it."

"Did you lay an egg, Perry?" Phineas asked.

"How many times do I have to remind you I'm a MALE? I'll be back soon… I hope. Protect it. Guard it with Candace's life."

** ...**

Perry disabled the generator on the roof of Paul Bunyan's Pancake House as quickly as he could. There wasn't much time left.

He felt someone tap on his shoulder and whirled around.

"We disabled seven generators already." Crusher said. "But they've started to realize and are guarding the rest of the generators now. We need a new plan. Where's mom?"

Perry felt the cold hand squeezing his heart again, pulling it slowly down to his stomach.

"Where's mom?" Crusher asked again.

"We don't need a new plan." Perry said through clenched teeth. "We just have to fight the guards."

Malice appeared behind Crusher. "We're willing to fight. How much time do we have left?"

"Not enough." Perry mumbled, sucking on his burned fingers.

Crusher adjusted her dress and held a hand out to Perry. "Come on."

"What?" Perry didn't feel like going anywhere right now.

"Next generator. You're good at fighting, I'm good at getting up high places."

Perry was sick of generators and high places. He was sick of fighting.

He was sick of giant tortoises spitting lasers.

He closed his eyes for a moment.

"Fine. Lead the way."

** ...**

Perry snapped the main generator wire in half.

"Are you okay?"

"Dandy." Perry said. "Where's the next one?"

Crusher pointed. A couple of rooftops across were at least six armed men.

"Not a problem." Perry said.

The giant tortoise's head popped up next to them.

"Problem." Perry said.

Crusher grabbed his hand and ran toward the next roof.

"Why a tortoise?" Perry asked himself.

"Get on my back."

Perry obeyed. He was afraid his weight would topple the younger platypus over, but she was surprisingly strong.

Crusher dashed toward the edge of the building and leapt. They managed to make it to the next roof.

They skidded to a landing and Perry hopped off her back.

The guards of the generator rushed toward them.

"Get to the generator. It's usually the thickest wire you have to cut. Don't burn your hand." Perry told her. He began to fight off the guards.

There were a lot of them, but Perry was trained for outnumbered combat. Keeping an ear out for his blind areas, he punched the guards as hard as he could, effortlessly dodging their shots and attacks.

"Got it." Crusher shouted.

"Get away from the generator before they notice."

Crusher skated away. Perry grabbed one of the men's guns and slammed another man over the head with it. Once they were all down, he followed her.

** ...**

"Last one." Crusher said.

She knelt down and opened the generator. Perry began to tamper with the wires while she stood guard.

Finally, he heard the hum of the machine shutting down. He began to breathe again.

"Good." Crusher said. "Good. Now let's get out of here before something…"

A loud blast sounded, and Perry felt hot pain sear down his back. He fell, sprawled out, on the ground. Everything hurt. Crusher had landed a few feet away from him.

Perry struggled to rise and see what had hit him.

The giant robotic tortoise was laughing at him. Flames were licking the side of a wooden billboard that had been near the generator. It gave an eerie light to the night sky.

Perry brushed himself off. A few chunks of charred fur fell to the ground.

"MY BROTHER WAS AN IDIOT!" The tortoise laughed in Franny's voice. "HE FELL FOR EVERY BIT OF OUR PLAN!"

Perry went over to help Crusher stand. She was shaking too hard, so he just helped her sit instead.

"THE GENERATORS MAY BE DOWN." Franny said. "BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE WON'T LOSE HIS AGENCY. I CAN SMASH IT IN A SINGLE SECOND. AND EVERY ONE OF HIS PRECIOUS LITTLE AGENTS WILL BE NO MORE. MY MEN ARE SEEING TO THAT."

Perry glared up at the head of the tortoise.

"HAND OVER THE O.W.C.A MASTER FILE." Franny said.

"I don't HAVE it." Perry spat.

Even though Franny didn't speak platypus, she obviously understood that he had nothing to give her. "WE ELIMINATED THE PROTECTOR OF THE FILE. WE CHECKED HER HOME. YOU WERE SEEN LEAVING IT WITH A BLANKET. WHAT WAS INSIDE?"  
>Crusher grabbed a small handgun from her belt and pointed it at the tortoise.<p>

"It won't do any good." Perry said.

They were surrounded by flame. The tortoise was horrifyingly taller than the building. It would be no use.

The tortoise slammed its arm down on the top of the building. Perry and Crusher flew back. Huge pieces of building material rained down on them.

Perry barely landed on the building itself. Even so, only his top half was safe. He had managed to grab onto a hook-like piece on the top of the building. The rest of him dangled dangerously over Danville.

Crusher was trying to get to him, but the tortoise knocked over a steel beam, separating them.

Perry struggled to pull himself up, but he couldn't get a firm handhold. He looked down.

The view was quite impressive. He could see the bright lights, cars and people down below. He could also see that dropping down that far could result in instant death.

He quickly shut his eyes and tried to think.

The other agents were occupied. Crusher couldn't help him. He had no idea where Monogram was.

He grabbed his phone with his free hand and began to dial.

The tortoise had turned toward him, its eyes gleaming hungrily.

"HELP ME!" Perry shouted into his phone. "HELP ME, PLEASE!"

All he heard was a click on the line. He had been hung up on.

The tortoise opened its mouth. A laser shot out, skimmed Perry's hand, and broke through the hook.

Perry fell.

** ...**

He heard the wind whistling past him at an uncomfortable speed. His heart was hammering furiously. Perry had heard that most people who fell from great heights died before they hit the ground from heart attack.

Why hadn't he brought his parachute? He should have known something like this would happen.

He felt hands closing around him and wondered if he had died yet.

The falling stopped.

Someone had grabbed him. Someone was holding him against their chest.

Perry heard their heart beating, loud and fast. The person was holding him tightly as though to protect him from further harm.

The person was running. Perry could hear people around them shouting "Watch where you're going" and "Well, I never-"…

He heard doors being opened, and felt the coolness of being inside. He heard the ding of an elevator and felt it rising. He felt it stop. He smelled a familiar hallway…

The person held Perry with only one arm now, using the other hand to open a door. It was quiet in here. The person's footsteps echoed across the floor.

"Perry?"

Perry's head rose. He looked into the face of his rescuer.

"Sorry I didn't say anything when you called, I… I just figured, you know… there was a lot of urgency in that chatter. Guess it's a good thing I came when I did. Convenient the building you just so happened to be falling off of was so close to mine."

Perry smiled at Doofenshmirtz and closed his eyes.

** ...**

"The tortoise has fallen." Pinky said. "Unfortunately right on top of Danville Bank, so that'll have to be rebuilt."

Perry smiled. "Good. Who took it down?"

"Baby Ned." Pinky said. "Turns out, there was a self-destruct mechanism on its foot. Ned poked it with his horn. You going to come out anytime soon? We're celebrating our victory in the main room."

Perry shook his head, looking down at Prince sleeping peacefully in her hospital bed. "I think I'm gonna stay with her. Did they find Crusher?"

"Yes. Some creature also on our side, Waterspout, rescued her from the roof. Then they started arguing, and we basically had to pull her off of him. She's pretty good with her fists."

"Thanks for going back for her." Perry said. "Both of them."

"No worries." Pinky said. "Maybe see you at the victory party?"

"Ugh. Parties."

"Maybe not, then." Pinky left the room.

Perry lightly kissed Prince on the cheek. She slowly opened her eyes.

"Look who woke sleeping beauty." She muttered.

"My, aren't we vain?"  
>Prince smiled at him. Then she gazed at her surroundings. "I don't seem to remember this place."<p>

"O.W.C.A medical wing."

Prince gave him an annoyed look. "Why am I here? Oh… wait…" She glanced down at her bandaged middle. "Never mind. Did you get it?"

"Yeah, the generators are all down. So is the giant tortoise. Man, that thing was freaky. I'm just glad you're okay."

"The egg, Perry…"

"Oh, yeah. The egg. Don't worry. It's safe with the boys."

Prince nodded. "Good."

"How do you feel?"

"Like someone stabbed me in the ribs. Otherwise, fine." She looked under the blanket. "Where are my rollerskates? They better not have confiscated them."

"They're over there, with your other stuff." Perry pointed at the chair. "All safe and sound. Your shirt has a hole in it, though."

"I liked that shirt."

"We can fix it. Thanks for your help, by the way. Pinky told me you managed to destroy seven generators before you went down."

Prince grinned.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I was so worried." Perry said.

Prince held his hand. "Remember when we hated each other?"

Perry narrowed his eyes. "Yeah. I remember. You spray-painted my face."

"You tried to handcuff me first."

"Because you defaced public property!"

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm an artist?"

"Are you just trying to get me to argue with you so I won't worry anymore?"

Prince nodded.

"Well, it won't work, so we might as well just talk."


	13. Chapter 13

Perry left the medical wing and started down the hall.

He found Crusher waiting a little ways away from the door he'd left from, looking bored.

"You're mom's in there." Perry said.

Crusher nodded.

"By the way…" Perry said. "She didn't want a baby because she didn't need you. She wanted one because she did need you."

"Do bats eat cats? Do cats eat bats?"

"I'm serious."

"Then make more sense."

"Prince told me that she wanted a baby. I told her it wasn't a good time, what with Thad on the loose and you gone and all, and that I couldn't handle one anyway. She told me that she missed you and she felt like she had really messed up with you. She's been upset ever since you left her. And she just wanted another chance to be a mother. She didn't think you'd give her another one."

"So that was the argument that convinced you?"

"She loves you, Crusher."

"I know she does."

"Good. You want to go see her?"

Crusher nodded. She pushed past him and entered the room.

Perry smiled. He left to join the party.

** ...**

"FRIENDSHIP, FRIENDSHIP, IT'S THE PERFECT BLENDSHIP! WHEN OTHER FRIENDSHIPS HAVE BEEN FORGATE, OURS WILL STILL BE GREAT! A LABA DABA DABA YEAH YEAH YEAH!"

Perry thought he was going crazy when he entered the house until he realized the sound was coming from the television. He entered the living room.

Ferb was sitting on the couch. The television continued to blare out the famous Cole Porter song.

"WHEN OTHER FRIENDSHIPS HAVE BEEN FORGOT, OURS WILL STILL BE HOT!"

"I forgot about this song." Perry said, hopping up next to Ferb. "Been a while since I heard it."

The television continued.

"IF YOU EVER LOSE YOUR SHIRT, I'LL BE HURT!"

"Why would she be hurt if he lost his shirt?" Ferb asked.

"Maybe it was a special shirt she bought for him and he lost it." Perry said.

"Maybe it was a Mr. Morrison shirt." Ferb said.

"FRURNDSHURP, FRURNSHURP, ERT'S THUR PERFURCT BLURNDSHURP!" Phineas sang as he came to join them.

"Oh no. Please. Not a 'Wurny the Purr' version of 'Friendship'." Perry said.

"Turby little curby all sturfed with flurf." Ferb sang.

"We kept your egg super-safe, Perry." Phineas said, putting a pillow down on the couch. The egg sat on top, covered by a warm cloth. "It kept glowing pink at some points. Do eggs usually glow?"  
>"Nope."<p>

"Huh. Well, this one did."

Perry yawned.

He dozed off to the fortieth chorus of "Friendship".

** ...**

"Wake up, Perry!" Phineas shook Perry awake.

"Where's the fire?" Perry muttered.

"Perry, it's Thanksgiving! Come on, wake up!"

"No… that's not for a week now…"

"It's today." Ferb said.

Perry opened one eye. "What?"

Ferb showed him a calendar.

Perry's heart sank. "…But… oh… maybe I lost track of time… so many things happening…"

"Perry, it's gonna be our first Thanksgiving all together ever! Remember? We found out your secret last Christmas!"

"Right… right… um…" Perry sat up and rubbed his head. "Let me just… take a second to wake up."

"Mom got you special food for Thanksgiving." Phineas said.

"Deluxe Platypus Food, made with one-hundred-percent real worms!" Ferb said.

Perry forced a smile. "Great. Great."

"We made little pilgrim models last night." Phineas said. "And Ferb made some pilgrims that are really tiny."

Ferb held out a hand to show Perry.

"There's nothing there." Perry said.

"That's how tiny they are. Careful, don't breathe them off his hand." Phineas said.

Phineas headed into the kitchen. Ferb followed.

Perry waited a minute before going after them.

He looked down at the floor. It looked almost black in the dim light of the morning.

** ...**

"There you are, Perry." Linda said. She put the food down on the floor.

Perry began to eat.

"Mom, can I help with anything?" Candace asked.

"Would you like to make the pie?" Linda asked.

"Sure!"

Linda turned to face the boys, who were eating their breakfast. "Do you want to help with the pie?"

Candace shook her head. "Oh no. No no. They're going to make a giant pie! Or a pie machine! Or do something crazy and un-pie-related!"

"Ooh, what about a pie truck?" Phineas asked.

"NO!" Candace said.

"Candace. Let them help." Linda scolded.

Candace sulked.

Perry liked the new platypus food. But it kind of made his stomach hurt.

He threw up on the floor.

"EEW." Candace yelled.

"Oh, Perry." Linda sighed. She went to go get a towel.

Perry almost smiled.

** ...**

Perry felt bad for ditching the boys after breakfast. But he didn't really want to engage in conversation with anyone.

All he wanted to do was be alone.

He sat in a leaf pile at the corner of Danville drive, watching the cars pass by. The soft wind blew his fur around a little. He shivered slightly and squirmed down deeper into the warm leaves.

The white picket fence behind him had some rain damage and was falling apart. Someone needed to repaint it.

Perry shook his head. He didn't want to think about the white picket fence.

He didn't want to think about anything.

"Perry! Perry, where are you?"

Perry buried his head under the leaves. He heard Phineas and Ferb approach and stop by the leaf pile.

"I thought I saw him in there." Phineas said. "Maybe it was the trick of the light."

"He hasn't seemed very happy today." Ferb said.

"Let's cheer him up, then. If we find him, I mean. PERRY!"

The call got fainter. Perry waited until he couldn't hear Phineas anymore before resurfacing.

Maybe it would be better to go with the boys. They could help him feel better. The leaf pile wasn't making him happy.

But he didn't want to be as ignorant as the other people walking the streets, laughing and talking about the holiday.

He stood up, brushing the leaves away from his fur, and slowly headed in the direction the boys had gone.

** ...**

"I don't understand. Where is he? This was going to be a fun holiday we could all spend together. Like Halloween." Phineas said.

Perry had finally managed to catch up to them. "Guys? Hey, I'm here."

Phineas grinned and hugged him. "Where were you?"

"We were getting worried." Ferb said.

"We hadn't seen you for a while after breakfast. We didn't know where you were."

"I was in a leaf pile on the corner of Danville drive." Perry said.

Phineas frowned a little. "Why?"

Perry shook his head. "Doesn't matter."  
>"You look sad. Why are you sad?"<br>"Just…"

"We never had you around for Thanksgiving." Phineas said. "I don't remember ever seeing you. Why?"

Perry sighed. "Because… because I mourn on Thanksgiving."

Phineas looked upset. "Who? What happened?"

"My best friend." Perry felt a lump in his throat. "His name was Terrence. A turkey. The first friend I had at the O.W.C.A. The only one who understood me, and stood up for me, and… we were really similar."

He had to stop to wipe his eyes. The boys didn't say anything.

"The… day before Thanksgiving was the last I saw him. We were playing in the leaves at Danville drive. Then I had to go. The next day… I found out…"

He tried to keep the tears back.

"Oh, Perry." Phineas hugged him. "You could have told us. That's so terrible… we're so sorry…"

Perry buried his head in Phineas's shoulder.

"We don't have a turkey, by the way." Ferb said. "We've never had one, any year. They make father too sleepy."

"Good…" Perry sobbed. "Good…"

"I'm glad you decided to come with us, instead of being all alone." Phineas said. "Do you wanna come back home? Thanksgiving is actually really fun."

Perry nodded.

"We have rolls and stuff. And we can make pie. You like pie? Oh, and Ferb had an idea for this machine that makes cornbread out of recycled bottles!"

Perry had to laugh. "Sounds delicious. Okay, cheer me up."

** ...**

"Miniature talking PILGRIM hats? Oh, you are SO BUSTED…"

"Yeah, we thought we could use them as pie toppers." Phineas said, handing the tiny hats to Candace.

"How's life, Dave?" One of the hats asked.

"Pretty boring. I'm a hat." The other one said.

"Pie toppers…" Candace brightened. "Good idea. And when we bring the pie out to mom… yes, good idea." She seemed a lot cheerier. She handed Phineas the electric beaters and a bowl. "You want to mix the pie ingredients? Ferb can add them."

"Yeah!" Phineas grinned.

Perry sat and waited for the inevitable spilling that would soon occur.

Ferb poured some pumpkin into the bowl, and then a whole can of sweetened condensed milk. Phineas turned on the beaters.

Milk and pumpkin splattered on the walls and floors. Perry began to lick up the mess.

Phineas lost control of the beaters and released them. They tipped over the bowl and began spinning across the floor into the living room, leaving a trail of milky orange.

The bowl landed on the floor, miraculously spilling no more. Phineas picked it up.

"CANDACE!" Linda called. "WHY DID THE ELECTRIC BEATERS JUST WHIRL PAST THE DINING TABLE? DID YOU LET PHINEAS STIR AGAIN?"

"Guess we'll have to use our hands." Ferb said, sticking his hands into the bowl and stirring.

"Ew, no, Ferb. Don't use your hands!" Candace grabbed the bowl away.

Ferb began licking his coated fingers.

"Between THAT and the beater incident, there's hardly any left for a pie." Candace grumbled.

"We can make a baby pie!" Phineas said.

Perry had finally cleaned the entire floor. With a sigh of satisfaction, he proceeded to hurl everything he had licked up back onto the tile.

"Oh, gross!" Candace groaned.

"At least it's all in one spot now." Phineas said.

"But it's been through a platypus stomach!"


	14. Chapter 14

"I am very full." Ferb said.

Phineas had to agree.

Perry was asleep on Phineas's bed, every limb stretched out. Phineas didn't have the heart to wake him, but he didn't really have any room to lie down.

"D'ya think we really cheered him up?" Phineas asked Ferb.

Ferb nodded.

"Me too. He seemed really happy after dinner. I don't think he'll ever feel sad and lonely on Thanksgiving again."

They watched Perry. He shifted slightly in his sleep and purred.

"I'm so glad we have Perry." Phineas said. "He's the best pet ever."

Ferb nodded and put an arm around Phineas.

Suddenly a loud crack was audible from the side of the room. Phineas looked at Ferb.

"What was that?"

Ferb shrugged.

Another crack sounded. And another.

The boys turned toward the sound. The glowing egg in the corner of the room had a small hole in it, and it was beginning to break open. Mesmerizing pink light seeped through the cracks.

"Woah. It's hatching!" Phineas whispered. "Should we wake Perry up?"

The egg burst open.

** ...**

"Thank you for shopping at Jeremy-Mart! Have an excellent day!" Clerk Jeremy said, handing Perry a bag.

"May I help you with your bags?" Bagger Jeremy asked.

Perry turned to the other Jeremy and handed him the bag.

"I'll walk you to your car." Said bagger Jeremy.

"That's fine, I'm not done shopping yet." Perry said.

"Take your time." Said Jeremy. "Should we send you a Jeremy employee to help you find things?"

"No, I'm fine." Perry headed down the nearest aisle.

Jeremy alarm clocks… Jeremy glue… Jeremy deoderant… wasn't he looking for Jeremy greeting cards?

He nearly collided with Vance Ward, who had been looking at Jeremy shampoo.

"Hello." Vance Ward said. "Have you seen the Jeremy concert starting at Jeremy square?"

"No. I think it's down on Aisle Twelve, though."

"Thanks." Vance Ward said, leaving.

Perry got onto a magic carpet to get to the next aisle. The carpet flew into a sparkly room with really loud advertisements blaring out of the walls.

And Devon was next to him.

"This is the best Disney ride ever." Devon said.

"Yep." Perry said.

They passed by some flowers and landed on Perry's pet bed.

The magic carpet began to fly back into Jeremy-Mart, but Devon was still on Perry's pet bed.

"Dev! Hold up, I'll come around again in a sec!"

Perry jolted awake, completely confused to find himself in the middle of Phineas's bed. Suddenly it dawned on him that he had been asleep and dreaming.

Jeremy-Mart? What was his brain thinking? Had it synced itself with Candace's dreams or something?

"Boys?" Perry asked sleepily. The only source of light in the room was a strong pink glow. The boys were sitting on the floor, staring into the light.

"Boys?" Perry called again.

Phineas turned to face him, his eyes wide. "Your baby hatched."  
>"What?"<p>

"It looked cold, so we got it some blankets. All the ones we could carry."

Perry got out of bed and approached them.

Sitting in the middle of the room were the remnants of eggshell. A pile of blankets and pillows had been placed near them.

And on top of the blankets sat an adorable glowing little baby platypus.

Perry became transfixed. This was surely the most adorable thing in the universe. He wanted to give it absolutely anything it wanted… but he didn't know where to start… it needed to have everything… it had to be the happiest thing in the world…

"Woah. Woah." Perry shut his eyes. "Okay. You two. I know it's hard, but you gotta snap out of it."

"Huh?" Phineas asked, still staring at the baby.

"This platypus has a cutonium gene. It's so adorable that it's easy to become transfixed by its cuteness. But you have to make sure you can get out of the trance. Come on." Perry opened his eyes.

The baby platypus gave a yawn, and Perry felt the burning need to buy it every single bed in the world. He shook the thought away.

"Come on, boys. Blink."

Phineas blinked and gave a shudder. "Where am I?"

"That thing is adorable." Ferb said.

"It really is." Perry said.

The baby platypus blinked its large eyes at him.

It yawned again.

"We gotta take care of it." Perry said. "It needs food."

"Okay, so sweat milk." Phineas said.

Perry glared at him. "Once again. I am male. I can't lay eggs, I can't sweat milk, and I am poisonous."

"I thought all platypuses could sweat milk."

"We may still have some milk in the cupboard from when Perry was a baby." Ferb suggested.

"Good. Go get it." Perry said. "I think it needs warmth, so I'd better stay here."

Perry climbed up next to the baby and lay down. The baby crawled under his stomach to get warm.

"Cool, you can just lie down on it." Phineas said. "Is it comfy?"

"I'm sure IT is. I'M not."

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Can't tell."  
>"Candace is going to name her kids Xavier and Amanda."<p>

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. I had the weirdest dream last night."

The baby shifted its position, and Perry had to adjust himself to keep from falling off of the blanket pile. "I was in this Jeremy-Mart thing…"

Ferb returned with the milk bottle and poured the milk on Perry.

Perry coughed. "What did you do THAT for?"

"I figured that since platypuses lick milk off of the side of their mom, it wouldn't want milk in a dish."

"I'm NOT its mother! And I drank milk in a dish when I was a baby!"

The baby platypus emerged from underneath Perry. It had a drop of milk on its head.

"Awww! Like a little hat!" Phineas said.

Perry gave an annoyed sigh, but he allowed the platypus to lick the milk off of him. Once it had eaten its fill, it crawled back underneath him.

"You missed a spot, you know." Perry told it. "A LOT of spots."

Ferb handed him a towel, and he toweled himself off.

"Well, good night, Perry." Phineas said. "Congrats on your baby."

"Night." Perry said, trying to get comfortable.

**...**

Perry waited for the phone to dial. The baby had fallen asleep, its front feet digging into his stomach and its back feet pressed up against his leg. It was very hard to breathe.

"Hey." Prince said.

"The egg hatched."

"Is the baby okay?"

"It's fine. It's busy shoving my intestines up into my lungs."

"Babies do that. The cutonium? Did it have any effect?"

"Well… let's just say it's the most adorable creature in the universe and I keep feeling a strong need to give it the entire world."

"Boy or girl?"

"I'm pretty sure it's a girl."

"Then call it a she. What does she look like?"

"Adorable."

"Besides that."

"Well, pretty normal. Teal fur, my eyes, tiny feet… that sort of thing. Just imagine all of that stuff overly cute. And imagine the tiny feet strong enough to bash my liver into my spinal cord."

"Sorry, I'll take over the warmth duties once I'm better. In the meantime, you're in charge of her."

"Name."

"What?"

"We have to pick a name. I can't keep calling her 'platypus'."

"Give me a minute…"

"Nothing like Crusher. Please."

"Sneakers."

"What?"

"Cute, yet easy to grow into. Has an edge for toughness. Can walk over the world or walk around it."

"Where'd you come up with that one? 'Gangster's Handbook Of Baby Names'? Was it on the page with Serpent and Slave?"

"Serpent… huh."

"NO. Sneakers is fine. It's just kind of a weird name, isn't it?"

"It's only as weird as you make it. Look after her. I'll see you in a week or so."

Perry heard a click. He tossed his phone onto Phineas's bed.

"So, your name is Sneakers. Sorry about that. Maybe we'll be able to find a nickname or something."

Sneakers poked her head out from underneath him and looked at him with her big eyes.

"Like Nee, or Kers, or Sneaky, or Sneaks… Snee. There aren't any legit nicknames that don't have anything to do with shoes."

Sneakers started chewing on a piece of his fur. She tugged on it a little.

"That's attached. You have your own fur."

Sneakers hiccupped. Perry wanted to get her a glass of water.

**...**

"You have any twos?"

"Go fish."

Phineas, Ferb and Perry had started a game of Go Fish. Sneakers had fallen asleep on Phineas's lap, glowing slightly from cuteness.

"Your turn, Blubbles." Phineas said to the goldfish in the bowl on Ferb's desk.

Blubbles gave off a couple of bubbles, making no move to play any of the cards in front of her tank.

"No, go fish." Phineas said.

Blubbles did nothing.

"Your turn, Perry." Phineas said.

Perry's phone started ringing.

"Aw, turn it off." Phineas said.

"Could be important." Perry said. He picked up his phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Perry. Is Prince with you?"

"What? No, Pinky. She's at the hospital, remember?"

"Uh… well, Perry, I was just sent from there. One of the nurses came to give her her medicine and she was gone. All of her stuff was gone, too. She was supposed to go home in two days, when we were certain she was stable enough. We thought maybe she was with you."

"Did you check her apartment?"

"Yes. No one was there."

"What the heck."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. She's… she's just an arrogant idiot. I'll try to find her." He hung up. "Sorry, guys. Prince went missing. I have to go. Watch Sneakers."

"Don't worry, baby Sneakers." Phineas said, patting her on the head. "Perry will find your mom."

"Are you sure you didn't want to let Phineas name the baby? It could have been Slneakers." Ferb said.

Phineas glowered.


	15. Chapter 15

"I was happy, okay?"

"Normally, when people are happy, they go and eat a cake or something. But YOU go and stand on top of some guy's house and paint a picture of a shoe stepping on a crown…"

"It's symbolism." Prince retorted. "I'm the crown, Sneakers is the shoe and the 'stepping' idea is Crusher. And you were going to be a weasel, but you dragged me back home before I could finish it."

"Weasel. Why am I always a weasel to you?"

"Because I know you hate when I call you that."

Perry glared at her and pointed to her bed. "Lie down. You're supposed to be recuperating."

"It's so boring in the hospital." Prince muttered. "And I was happy Sneakers was here and okay."

"Look. I can't do everything. You're going to have to be responsible with Sneakers, too."

"Of course. I looked after Crusher for a year."

"That went well."

Perry immediately regretted saying so. Prince looked completely shocked and hurt from the comment.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I'm just mad you don't take care of yourself."

"I was feeling fine."

"You almost fell off the roof!"

"Because you distracted me."

"If you'd at least been wearing boots up there… don't use those skates for everything. Please."

"Huh. You like my new perfume? It smells like gummy bears."

Perry pushed her hand away. "Lie down, Prince. And don't go running around on rooftops until you're completely recuperated."

"No promises, weasel."

** ...**

"So, Goldilocks ran away, and the three bears lived happily ever after." Perry closed the storybook. "The end."

The only sound came from Sneakers, who was chewing on her plastic cow toy.

"Come on." Perry said. "That was good."

Phineas shrugged. "I guess. I just don't remember the three bears chasing Goldilocks around the house with tasers."

"I changed it up a little to make it more interesting." Perry said. "Sneakers liked it, didn't you, Sneaks?"

"I'm glad Franny's gone." Phineas said. "Now you have nothing else to worry about."

Perry grinned. "That's true. I still can't believe it's over."

"Well, it is over. So you wanna come downstairs and help us build a cloud car?"

"I'd love to."

The boys grabbed their pillows and ran downstairs. Perry ran after them, his heart leaping with joy.


End file.
